Finding Happiness

In the Book of Exodus, God gave Moses ten commandments, detailing the least that is required of us to be worthy of our place in Heaven. The seventh commandment might appear to us to be out dated—out of touch the reality of modern day life.

The seventh commandment is the law of chastity. That commandments teaches that we must practice chastity before marriage and fidelity afterward. However, we have all heard renowned modern-day psychologists say that such old fashioned standards as chastity, virtue and marriage aren’t relevant today and that it’s impossible to live up to such standards

Don’t believe it.

The value of virtue and chastity are perhaps more relevant today than they have ever been. In his talk, “What Is Real Love and Happiness?,” Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) taught six ways that being chaste in todays world can bring you closer to happiness in this and in the world to come (New Era, Jun 1992, 4.)

1. When you choose to follow the Lords’ commandments, you will be in harmony with Him. Your relationship with Him will be preserved and enriched, helping you to retain his Spirit.

When your thoughts are virtuous, your confidence will “wax strong in the presence of God” (D&C 121:45.)

2. You will discover and retain the blessing of deserved self-esteem. By understanding your own worth, you will be able to truly love your neighbor. “Let every man esteem his brother as himself” (D&C 38:24.)

3. Sin deadens our senses. In these last days, the capacity of man to love will “wax cold” because of iniquity (see Matt. 24:12.)

4. You will be free from the heavy burden of guilt. “Despair cometh because of iniquity” (Moro. 10:22.) Free from guilt, you are not turned inward with self-pity.

5. You will be kept from a very real harm. Reports indicate that “as many as 43 million Americans may have acquired incurable sexually transmitted viral infections” (Deseret News, 7 Oct. 1991, p. 7A).

Such diseases, including AIDS, make clear medically what has always been clear spiritually: the only safe pattern of physical affection is within the bounds of marriage—especially a marriage of two consistent commandment keepers. Abstinence from sin is better than moderation or even repentance. Prevention is better than any cure!

6. You will develop a personal wholeness and serenity, which will greatly bless you in both courtship and marriage and in all of your life. The one you choose to love will be respected by you as an individual and not merely as an object of physical attraction and gratification. Your relationship can be as deep, rich, and broad as eternity.

I can truly testify, from my own personal experience, that “despair cometh because of iniquity” (Moro. 10:22.) There is no downside to choosing the right.

Choose the right, keep yourself clean. The Book of Mormon tells of a people who all strove to stay clean before God: “And surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God” (4 Ne. 1:16.)

I pray that you and I can also be examples of righteous living and in doing so, obtain a happiness that fills our hearts, now and forever.

Joseph Smith, founder and prophet of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) said that, “happiness is the object and design of our existence.” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, p. 255.)

But if God truly loves us and wants us to be happy, why does so much unhappiness and misery happen every day throughout the world?

That question is perhaps the singlemost challenging hurdle in the path of an individuals’ journey of faith. Many good people have fallen trying to cross it, never to get up again, but to give up the journey. Some turn to atheism, choosing to believe there is no God, rather than to accept that He would allow harm to come to one of His children. Others, harden their hearts against God, and give in to hate and anger.

Some of our suffering is our own doing. Incorrect choices, sin have the consequence of unhappiness, and sometimes pain. But much suffering is simply a natural extension of our mortal condition—like an accident, it is not caused by anyone, it only happens because we live in an imperfect world.

There was a time when our Father Adam and Mother Eve had been offered a perfect world where there would never be any suffering. No pain, no misery, no accidents.

However, Lehi, a Book of Mormon prophet explained that if Adam and Eve had not gone through the process we call the Fall, they would have remained forever in their initial state of innocence, “having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin” (2 Ne. 2:23.)

That might sound pretty good, but if they had remained in that state of innocence, we would not have come to exist. Even if we had, we would not know the good from the bad, we would have no way of knowing that we were happy—we would simply be.

Dallin H. Oaks, member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, taught:

“Our first parents recognized this principle. When the Holy Ghost fell upon them and bore record of the Father and the Son, Adam blessed the name of the Lord, declaring that “because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy” (Moses 5:10.) With inspired insight, Eve explained the purpose of life and the source of joy:

“Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient” (Moses 5:11)
(“Joy and Mercy,” Ensign, Nov 1991, 73.)

As Eve might have said herself, it is better for us to taste the bitter that we might enjoy the sweet. I know that what I’m suggesting is difficult to accept, particularly if the pain of loss is fresh in your heart and mind. However, I do know that Adam and Eve chose the better part and because of them, you and I have the privilege of experiencing joy—and misery.

I testify that it is necessary for us to experience loss, heartache, misery, so that we are better equipped to recognize the good when it comes and truly appreciate it. Our Heavenly Father wants us to be happy in this life. Modern revelation tells us that “all things which come of the earth … are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart” (D&C 59:18.) The gospel plan provides a way for us to overcome the sadness in this world, and that plan is “the great plan of happiness” (Alma 42:8.)

Spencer W. Kimball, former President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) once said: “Marriage can be more an exultant ecstasy than the human mind can imagine” (“Oneness in Marriage,” Tambuli, Jun 1978, 1.) And I believe it is true.

My sister lives in humble circumstances, and has her entire married life. Yet, she is happily married. My husband and I did not get to have all the children we desired, nor do we enjoy good health, and yet, we are happy.

Far too married couples claim to be happy. It’s so common, in fact, to be unhappy that when you say you are happy in your marriage, people often look at you like you’ve sprouted horns. Yet, real, lasting happiness, is possible.

President Kimball taught that a simple formula could guarantee every couple a happy and eternal marriage. However, like all formulas, it often doesn’t work if you try to switch out the ingredients, or ignore one or two ingredients all together. You must pay careful attention to each ingredient in the formula—if you do this, you and your spouse will be happy.

First, the utmost care must be taken when choosing an eternal companion. This is not the time to give in to your hormones, or to other base desires. Make every effort to choose a companion who possesses all of those characters you deem to be most important for the long term. Think of the lifestyle you plan to lead, the children you hope to have, how you will raise them, what you expect from a future mate. All of these things and more, must be addressed and accounted for before you say “I do.”

Second, both individuals must practice great unselfishness. That “I do” you said when you got married should be the last time you think of “I.” Think of “we,” and you’ll do just fine. Think of the family, and strive to do all things for the good of the family—that is where happiness lies.

Third, saying “I do,” should not end the courting you enjoyed before you were married. Continued expressions of kindness and affection are the life blood of your marriage and absolutely necessary to keep love alive and growing.

And finally, keep the commandments of the Lord, as defined in the gospel of Jesus Christ. There can be no substitute for obedience to these commandments—they must be lived completely.

Apply these ingredients generously and continuously within your marriage and family unit. If you do this, President Kimball promised that “it is quite impossible for unhappiness to come, misunderstandings to continue, or breaks to occur.”

A happy marriage means lots of sacrifice and sharing. It means you don’t always get what you want. It means giving yourself in service to your spouse and your children. It means inviting care and worry for another to take the place of selfish cares and concerns. But life-long and eternal happiness is your reward—surely the price is not too great.

It is my distinct pleasure to come here to LDSblogs.com most days to write about happiness. Very often my song has the same words, just maybe set to a different tune. At first this concerned me. My readers will get bored! I worried. I figured you wouldn’t want to read the same thing, over and over again. Because, after all, the road to happiness is the straight and narrow road that leads to eternal life. There can be no other way to obtain happiness, so there’s no point in me trying to sugar coat it.

However, if you, like me, are human, sometimes stubborn, often tempted, somewhat discouraged by the hurdles life throws in your path—you never tire of reading how happiness can be obtained. Oftentimes for me, it is the very act of studying for this blog that sets my day straight. I have to be here, writing about this, learning about happiness, you choose to be here and as a result I am sure you are doubly blessed.

I love to read the words of Marion G. Romney. He was a General Authority in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) from 1951 to 1972. Like all prophets though, his words are timeless and count as much today as they did back then.

In an article published in the New Era, President Romney said, “Happiness depends upon possession of the moral virtues possessed and taught by Jesus. It cannot be conferred upon a person by another. It cannot be bought, purchased, or stolen. It can be won only by righteous living” (“Happiness,” New Era, Oct 1979, 5.)

Often, I have quoted the Prophet Joseph Smith when writing about happiness because in my opinion no truer words have been written on the subject before or since. He wrote:

“Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pp. 255–56.)

President Romney and President Smith are in agreement: It is through righteous living and keeping all the commandments of God that one can obtain true happiness in this life. Though many temptations are alluring, we must acknowledge and accept the fact that, “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10.)

Our beloved Jesus told us exactly how happiness may be found:

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28–30.)

President Romney also said, “As I have thought about the relationship of the teachings of Jesus to happiness, I have concluded that one’s conformance or nonconformance to them affects one’s happiness whether he accepts, rejects, or acts in ignorance of them.”

If you deny the teachings of Christ, whether you do so because you are ignorant of them, or you willfully refuse to adhere to them, your opportunity for true happiness will be decreased. However, if you make it your priority to study the teachings of Jesus and to act according to them, you will be blessed in ways uncounted—including an increase of happiness.

It is your responsibility to know and conform with the teachings of Jesus. Do that, and you will be happy.

In conclusion, a fun poem confirms all we have learned today. I hope you’ll come back and read with me again—the lessons of happiness bear repeating.

To Be Happy

You’ve got to be straight to be happy,
You’ve got to be square as a die.
Through wrong may come infinite pleasures,
But they fade, and they fly.

You’ve got to take life at its noblest
If you want to have gladness that counts,
Want the verve and the zeal of the spirit
That lifts you along as it mounts.

And, Oh! how it pays out of goodness
To draw for each day as we strive
Some measures of clean, healthy gladness,
In our work, and for being alive!

You’ve got to be true to be happy,
Be true to yourself over all,
And be blind to the lure of evil,
And deaf to its powerful call.

To set up high standards and keep them,
With the records so straight and so true,
For nothing can ever condemn them,
If that is your creed, it will do.

You’ve got to be clean to be happy,
You’ve got to be steadfast and pure
If you want what fife gives that is earnest,
That will help, and will hold, and endure.
(Baltimore Sun)

Heavenly Father loves you and has not left you comfortless. He has provided you a Comfortor (John 15:26,) who with a still, small voice can guide and direct you in all that you do.

You were sent here to be happy—to live life to its fullest and to reach your greatest potential. Each one of us is blessed with special skills and talents that if we can uncover and use them are sure to bless our lives and bring us added joy.

In an address given to students at Brigham Young University on January 23rd, 2001, Richard G. Scott said, “I will share a principle [which will enable] you [to] learn vital truths that will bring you greater, enduring happiness and make your life more productive and meaningful.” That principle is simply to consistently strive to learn by what you hear, see and feel—and then, write down the important things you learn and do them.

Most of us learn strictly by listening to teachers or reading from books. These are both legitimate and useful means of instruction, however we are missing a vital link to the vast storehouse of knowledge our Father in Heaven has laid up for us. There is another Teacher, who is constantly teaching, if we will but listen.

The Holy Ghost is a gift from God to help us keep our feet on the straight and narrow path. He can help us gauge every decision, every choice, whether it be for our good or not. Elder Scott suggests that we:

“Develop the skill of learning by what you see and particularly by what the Holy Ghost prompts you to feel. Consciously seek to learn by what you see and feel, and your capacity to do so will expand through consistent practice. Ask in faith for such help. Live to be worthy of it. Seek to recognize it. Write down in a secure place the important things you learn from the Spirit. You will find that as you write down precious impressions, often more will come. Also, the knowledge you gain will be available throughout your life. Always, day or night, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, seek to recognize and respond to the direction of the Spirit. Express gratitude for the help received and obey it. This practice will reinforce your capacity to learn by the Spirit. It will permit the Lord to guide your life and to enrich the use of every other capacity latent in your being.”

The Holy Ghost reveals and teaches “the truth of all things” (Moroni 10:5.) His whisperings carry far more certainty and clarity than we can obtain through our natural senses. If you will pray for such a gift, and then strive to listen for it, you come to find you can rely on it and you will be blessed with greater happiness because of that gift.

I decided to write this article today because I needed the lesson it gave. In the past I’ve taken the challenge to listen to the Spirit and to write down—and follow—the promptings I receive. It really works! For a time I was happy doing what I knew to be right in my life. However, it’s easy to let life get in the way, and to forget what I know to be best for me.

Reading this has renewed my desire to put this counsel into practice. I can testify that taking the time to listen to the still, small voice and then to act upon the promptings you receive can truly bless your life with happiness and joy. It does take constant effort and practice, but it is worth it—and eternal joy is your reward.

Nowadays, most of us are like Philip of New Testament, who cried “How can I [find my way], except some man should guide me?” (Acts 8:31) Though according to Joseph Smith, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, selected by Joseph Fielding Smith (1976), 255–56.)

How can we begin find that path that leads to happiness? Thomas S. Monson, then First Counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or the Mormon church,) spoke on “The Hallmarks of a Happy Home” (Liahona, Oct 2001, 3,) and taught how it is the family that can lead and guide us to the path that leads to happiness in this life and in the life to come.

Mrs. Margaret Thatcher, former prime minister of Great Britain, expressed the profound philosophy: “The family is the building block of society. It is a nursery, a school, a hospital, a leisure center, a place of refuge and a place of rest. It encompasses the whole of the society. It fashions our beliefs; it is the preparation for the rest of our life” (Nicholas Wood, “Thatcher Champions the Family,” London Times, 26 May 1988.)

President Monson taught that the building blocks for a happy home include:

1. A pattern of prayer.
2. A library of learning.
3. A legacy of love.
4. A treasury of testimony.

Prayer is the single most important block upon which the other blocks must stand. President Monson said, “Family prayer is the greatest deterrent to sin, and hence the most beneficent provider of joy and happiness. The old saying is yet true: “The family that prays together stays together"."

Where there is a love of good books, there are children who learn to love the world, and all that is in it. John Howard Payne wrote:

Books are keys to wisdom’s treasure;
Books are gates to lands of pleasure;
Books are paths that upward lead;
Books are friends. Come, let us read.
(“‘Mid Pleasures and Palaces,” Hymns (1948), number 185.)

Give your children a legacy of love, by letting them see you serve one another, neighbors and friends. Don’t be worthy of Jacob’s chastisement to the people of Nephi who forgot the importance of such a loving legacy: “Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives, and lost the confidence of your children, because of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend up to God against you” (Jacob 2:35.)

And finally, let your homes be a treasure of testimony. President David O. McKay said “The first and foremost opportunity for teaching in the Church lies in the home” (Priesthood Home Teaching Handbook, revised edition (1967), ii–iii,) and “A true Mormon home is one in which if Christ should chance to enter, he would be pleased to linger and to rest” (In Conference Report, October 1947, 120; or Gospel Ideals: Selections from the Discourses of David O. McKay (1953), 169.)

It’s not just enough that you believe in God and in His son Jesus Christ, you must be sure to teach your children. Let them hear you bearing your testimony—sharing it with them every opportunity you get. President Monson said: “A love for the Savior, a reverence for His name, and genuine respect one for another will provide a fertile seedbed for a testimony to grow.”

I testify to you that if you follow those ‘hallmarks for a happy home,’ namely, a pattern of prayer, a library of learning, a legacy of love, and a treasury of testimony, your home and the hearts of your family members will be filled with happiness and you will have found the path that leads to happiness and joy ever after.

Every day we search for happiness—every one of us. There is not one living person who does not desire to be happy. Unfortunately, very often we mistake pleasure for happiness and since pleasure is more widely available we desperately grab onto it and hope it will make us happy.

Drugs, alcohol, even over eating can be a source of momentary pleasure that does not bring us the lasting happiness we crave. The world is full of sources of pleasure that are appealing on the surface, but can’t deliver the soul-healing joy that we were created to experience.

David O. McKay, then of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) once said, “You may get that transitory pleasure, yes, but you cannot find joy, you cannot find happiness. Happiness is found only along that well beaten track, narrow as it is, though straight, which leads to life eternal” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1919, 180.)

In Leonard Tolstoy’s book War and Peace, his character Pierre Bezúkhov learn “that man is created for happiness, that happiness is within him, in the satisfaction of simple human needs, and that all unhappiness arises not from privation but from superfluity” (trans. Louise and Aylmer Maude [1942], 1176.)

Here, Pierre is stating that it’s not for going without that brings us unhappiness, but excess. It’s not for having too little, but having too much.

Too often, we strive for more. We are a culture of overabundance and we are not any happier because of it. Rather, our obesity, our dependence on recreational drugs, is at an all-time high. We are drowning in our superfluity and we are not happy.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ can provide you with a plan for your own life that will yield you happiness unmeasured, without end. “The assurance of supreme happiness, the certainty of a successful life here and of exaltation and eternal life hereafter, come to those who plan to live their lives in complete harmony with the gospel of Jesus Christ—and then consistently follow the course they have set” (The Miracle of Forgiveness [1969], 259.)

Decide today to make Christ’s plan of happiness your own. Make it the blueprint for your life. Forsake the lure of fleeting happiness and grasp instead, that joy that is yours for the taking—a life well lived in the gospel of Christ, your feet firm on the narrow path that leads you to life and joy eternal.

Imagine you have a beautiful little girl. Her hair is silken, her eyes sparkle, her voice is a song to your ears. Such a precious child and you want nothing but the best for her. She deserves every happiness she can obtain in life.

Your dear child, decides that what she most wants is to go deep sea diving in dangerous shark infested waters. The thrill of it makes her feel alive, she says. It will make her ultimately happy, she claims.

When you counter her requests with heaps of evidence that prove that such a venture would probably cost her her life, she declares that she would be the one to beat the odds because it’s so important to her. Even if she did die, she would be happy for that moment and so it would be worth it.

Now, as a loving parent, would you think her chosen course of action was a prudent one? Would you encourage her, and help her achieve her dream? Kissing her goodbye as she climbed on that boat and sailed out to sea?

Or, would you do everything you could to dissuade her, to protect her, knowing that her greater happiness lay in living a long life safe from the potential life altering pain and injury of swimming with man-eating sharks?

Oftentimes, we don’t always desire that which is good for us. Imagine if all our desires were granted to us … we would likely be far from happy.

James E. Faust, then second councilor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) said, “Instant and unrestrained gratification of all our desires would be the shortest and most direct route to unhappiness. The many hours I have spent listening to the tribulations of men and women have persuaded me that both happiness and unhappiness are much of our own making” (“Our Search for Happiness,” Ensign, Oct 2000, 2.)

The Prophet Joseph Smith detailed the only reliable path to happiness when he told us, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 255–56.)

Even though “men are, that they might have joy” (2 Ne. 2:25,) it doesn’t mean that everything is going to go smoothly and all we will experience is happiness and joy. The Book of Mormon also tells us, “for it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things” (2 Ne. 2:11.)

No one, no matter how righteous will experience happiness every moment of every day. But perhaps the happiest among us have learned that in order to be happy, they must learn to recognize the elements of happiness and to treasure them while they last.

So perhaps you could tell your daredevil child to look to smaller, less thrilling ways to find her happiness … it might not get her adrenaline pumping in quite the same way as swimming with sharks might, but surely the quantity of happiness she could experience over a lifetime would outweigh the fleeting moments of pleasure she might feel on her adventure.

God sent us to this earth to be happy. Through His son, Jesus Christ, He created the world and everything that is upon it. They did this, so that God’s children would have a beautiful home in which to grow and learn of Him, to suffer and to be tested, to love and find joy—to choose.

From the very beginning, He planned and prepared a way that would ensure we would not have to go through life alone. In Genesis we read: “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18.) In the Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ we also read, “and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25.)

Through these brief scriptures we catch a glimpse of God’s great plan for us: We are not to be alone, and we are meant to have joy in this life. The family is a creation of God designed to help us make our way in this life and in the life to come. It is ordained of God and can be the source of never ending happiness for us.

Every family should keep an eternal perspective—to remember that it is not just this life, but an eternity that we have to be together. Ezra Taft Benson, thirteenth president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or the Mormon Church,) said, “There can be no genuine happiness separate and apart from the home. The sweetest influences and associations of life are there” (n Conference Report, Oct. 1947, 27.)

The scriptures command us to “honor they father and mother” (Exodus 20:12.) Spencer W. Kimball, twelfth president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, said:

“If we truly honor our parents as we are commanded to do, we will seek to emulate their best characteristics and to fulfill their highest aspirations for us. Nothing we could give them materially would be more prized than our righteous living” (“Hold Fast to the Iron Rod,” Ensign, Nov. 1978, 6.)

As a family, we must draw near to God, our Heavenly Father, on a daily basis.

Let your children hear you pray so that they can learn how to speak to God themselves. Also, let them hear you praying for them, that they may know how very much you love them. John Taylor, third president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, wrote:

“Do not forget to call upon the Lord in your family circles, dedicating yourselves and all you have to God every day of your lives; and seek to do right, and cultivate the spirit of union and love, and the peace and blessing of the Living God will be with us, and He will lead us in the paths of life” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: John Taylor (2001), 148.)

And President George Albert Smith said, “[Do] we want our homes to be happy[?] If we do, let them be the abiding place of prayer, thanksgiving and gratitude” (In Conference Report, Apr. 1944, 32.)

In conjunction with prayer, we must read our scriptures together as a family. “Families are greatly blessed when wise fathers and mothers bring their children about them, read from the pages of the scriptural library together, and then discuss freely the beautiful stories and thoughts according to the understanding of all” (President Howard W. Hunter, “Reading the Scriptures,” Ensign, Nov. 1979, 64.)

Finally, all must be done with love. Strive to make your speech a communication of love, always. President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “There are good families everywhere. But there are too many who are in trouble. This is a malady with a cure. The prescription is simple and wonderfully effective. It is love” (“Look to the Future,” Ensign, Nov. 1997, 69.)

Remember these people are those whom your Heavenly Father Himself, has given you for your eternal happiness. He did not wish for you to be alone, and so He created your family for you. They can be a source of great joy to you, and I testify that they will be if you will follow these simple steps: Remember you can be a Forever Family, give due honor and respect to your parents, pray together, read scripture together, and above all, tie it all together with love. Do these things, and ‘genuine happiness’ will be yours.

Lately I’ve written a lot on the subject of keeping the commandments as a source of happiness in our lives. You are probably ready for me to move on already! But I read this wonderful quote and thought you might bear with me just one more time.

George Albert Smith, former president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or the Mormon church,) said:

“It ought not to be difficult for us to keep the commandments of the Lord, because keeping them leads to happiness. It ought not to be difficult for husbands and wives to love one another and be true to one another, because doing so is a source of happiness. It ought not to be difficult for boys and girls to love their parents and honor them, because that is another source of happiness. Being honest with our neighbors is a source of happiness. Paying Him our tithes and our offerings is a source of blessing and happiness. I might go on and enumerate many other things, but I may sum it all by saying: All the happiness that is worthy of the name, all the real happiness there is in this world, comes from living in accordance with the commandments of God—whether men know it or not.”

I would love to have a perfectly fit and healthy body. Once, I was a bodybuilder and competed in amateur bodybuilding competitions. Today, I’m about thirty pounds overweight and can’t strike a pose except to make my children laugh. I know what I need to do to get into shape. I even know how to work out properly. There is a great gym very nearby my house that has all the equipment I need to get into shape.

But do I go? Umm, nope.

However, when I have gone to work out, I feel tremendously good. Not only does my body enjoy being pushed to its limits—coming alive the way only physical exercise allows us to do—but my spirits are also invigorated. You often hear people say “It’s so hard to get to the gym, but I’m always happy when I do because I feel so much better!”

That’s precisely how it is in keeping the commandments. We don’t always want to do them, but they are good for us and following them will always make us happy.

I testify that following the commandments brings peace to our hearts and happiness to lives. Study the commandments as found in Exodus 20, and in the New Testament. Pray about them and discern how they can be applied to your own life. As you do this and strive to live by them daily, you will be blessed with happiness beyond your imaginings.

So flex a little mental muscle and decide today that though it isn’t always easy, you will obey the commandments of God and be spiritually fit and eternally happy.

You are cordially invited to

Come Unto Christ

Who: Everyone is invited who has a true desire to discover happiness and to receive it in this life and throughout eternity.

What: Feel the power of His redeeming love through obedience, even in small things. You will receive blessings beyond measure if you bring a repentant heart and a contrite spirit.

Where & When: You can seek Him through prayer at any place and at any time. He will come into your heart and grant you peace if you but seek Him.

Why: Find true happiness and peace secure in the knowledge that Jesus Christ is the light, the life and hope of the world. “Behold I say unto you, that as these things are true, and as the Lord God liveth, there is none other name given under heaven save it be this Jesus Christ, of which I have spoken, whereby man can be saved” (2 Nephi 25:20.)

I have sought Jesus Christ and the peace of heart following Him brings, my entire life. I invite you to take my invitation and receive Him into your own heart that you can have the happiness and joy He offers.

As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) I worship the Savior and all that He teaches. If you have not yet found Him, I encourage you to contact the Missionaries and ask for a copy of the Book of Mormon. There is no truer book on earth wherein you can read the teachings of Jesus Christ.

In the Book of Mormon you will read how Jesus Christ was true to His promise to visit His “other sheep” (John 10:16,) and that those sheep were on the North American continent.

Jesus loves you and He is seeking you, even now.

He desires for you to come unto Him. If you will answer His call, He will bless you and comfort you.

“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30.)

I testify that by following the path of Christ, striving to be like Him, and obeying His counsel, you can obtain true happiness in this life. I hope you will Come Unto Him—and be happy.

I have two dear sisters who are in their early forties and have never been married. They live together and strive for a measure of happiness and belonging, but nothing can wipe away their deep yearning for a companion of the heart with whom they can share their lives.

Whether you are a member of a church or not, you likely find that sometimes it is even difficult to go to church because there are so many families—indeed perhaps at times it even might seem that God is a God of families, not of singles.

But there is nothing further from the truth. God loves you. You are His child. Whether married or single, you are His and He knows you.

Show Him that you know Him by being constant in prayer, scripture study and keeping the commandments. Always remember that He will give you the guidance and support you need if you will invite Him into your life. Make God your constant Companion—include Him in your decision making, and in all that you do. When you feel discouraged and your loneliness rings like a bell in your heart, pray. The Book of Mormon prophet Zenos declared, “And thou didst hear me because of mine afflictions and my sincerity” (http://scriptures.lds.org/alma/33/11#11 Alma 33:11.)

Though it hardly repairs the ache of loneliness altogether, President Gordon B. Hinckley, former President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints said:

“I believe that for most of us the best medicine for loneliness is work and service in behalf of others. I do not minimize your problems, but I do not hesitate to say that there are many others whose problems are more serious than yours. Reach out to serve them, to help them, to encourage them. There are so many boys and girls who fail in school for want of a little personal attention and encouragement. There are so many elderly people who live in misery and loneliness and fear for whom a simple conversation would bring a measure of hope and brightness” (“A Conversation with Single Adults,” Liahona, Nov. 1997, 20.)

Being single does not mean you have to put off being happy. As President Harold B. Lee (1899–1973) once said: “Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you, but on what happens inside of you. It is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life” (“A Sure Trumpet Sound: Quotations from President Lee,” Ensign, Feb. 1974, 78.)

Though you still have to go home alone, the service you can provide by bringing much-needed strength to family members and others by providing love and acceptance to nieces, nephews, brothers and sisters, and others, is immeasurable. Very often single people can have a great impact because they can say things that parents cannot say to their own children. Never downplay your importance in this world because you lack a partner to share it with.

God has a plan for you. He loves you. If you will pray often and make Him your Companion, He will strengthen you in your weakness and comfort you in your loneliness. Serve with a willing heart and He will use you to perform great works--your heart can be full and you may yet find a measure of that happiness you seek.

I remember when I first joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (otherwise known as the Mormons,) my sister was very concerned for me.

“You have so many restrictions on you now. I don’t see how you can be happy with all those rules,” she said.

I tried to explain it, but my knowledge was purely based in feeling at that time—I didn’t have adequate words to express what I knew in my heart to be true. Now I would like to answer my sisters’ questions and I can do so with confidence. I know now what I once only believed, that being obedient to the laws of the gospel is precisely what sets me free and that freedom brings me daily peace and happiness beyond measure.

When you do what God tells you to do, you have His promise: “I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise” (Doctrine and Covenants 82:10.)

Mormons believe that God is the same today as He was yesterday and that He speaks to His apostles today just as He did in days long past. Many modern day revelations are recorded in the Doctrine and Covenants. How grateful to know that He remembers us still and provides guidance for us in these latter days.

The Doctrine and Covenants go on to say: “There is a law, irrevocably decreed in Heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated” (Doctrine and Covenants 130:20-21.)

Our Father in Heaven created us and He loves us. Just as any good and loving father, He desires for His children to be successful and above all, to be happy. The Book of Mormon tells us clearly: “Men are, that they might have joy” (2 Nephi 2:25.)

The prophet of the restoration, Joseph Smith said, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, comp. Joseph Fielding Smith, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1976, p. 255.)

I desire to be happy as much as my Heavenly Father desires to grant it. All He has asked me to do, is to be obedient to the things He has asked me to do and He will see to it that I have my reward, both on earth and in heaven.

As in all things, I have a choice. I can choose to go my own way, to not follow any of the guidelines the leaders of my Church have given me—but I’ve lived that life and I know that for me, it did not bring me any kind of lasting happiness.

Choosing each day to follow the Lord, to read my scriptures, say my prayers, refrain from consuming substances that have been deemed to be harmful to my body or to my mind, strive to remember God in all that I do and keep the Sabbath day holy, sets my feet firmly on the path to happiness and peace--this is true happiness.

Do you know where you’re going?

Every day we make decisions that determine where we will end up at the end of the day. Did we overeat today, so tonight we’ll feel full and bloated? Did we exercise today, so tonight we will feel strong and healthy? Did we pay our bills today so that tomorrow we will feel secure in knowing all is paid for? Did we pray today so that tonight we will feel safe knowing we are cared for by a loving Heavenly Father?

What is your destination?

I want to return to Heaven and live forever in happiness with my family and my God. That is my goal.

It’s a lofty goal that requires thought, planning and constant diligence or else I am likely to veer off course.

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) believe it is possible to be reunited with our families after we die and to live forever with our Heavenly Father. Through faithful obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we can reach this goal.

First, we must have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Faith requires constant attention. It doesn’t grow if we don’t feed it. Its growth is stunted if we don’t use it. We must exercise faith that there is a God above us who knows us and loves us. We have to believe that He has a plan for us and that it is a good plan that will benefit us if we follow it. Faith requires that we act upon our beliefs even if we can’t see where our steps will lead us.

Mormons believe that God’s greatest gift to us is what yet lies in store: “For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man” (Moses 1:39).

Second, we must repent of our sins.

Part of Heavenly Father’s plan for us is to provide a way for us to return home to Him, even if we have been less than perfect in this life. There has been and will ever be, only one person who has lived a perfect life—and that one person is Jesus Christ. None of us are expected to live as well as He did. However we are expected to take the gift of atonement that He offers us and to use it—or else His sacrifice is for naught.

Repent of your sins, forsake them.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, wrote:

“In the Book of Mormon Alma tried to help his son Corianton avoid unnecessary storms by explaining that “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10.) Unfortunately, sin appears occasionally attractive but hides its destructive nature until it is too late and harm is already done. We need to understand how to recognize and avoid the evil and be prepared to detour around it in time. If we do fail, however, there is hope and relief made possible through the atonement of Jesus Christ. Sincere repentance brings us forgiveness and peace in this life and puts us back on course to live again with our Heavenly Father (“Happy Landing,” New Era, Mar 1995, 4.)

Third, repeat steps one and two over and over again.

Put on your to-do list today to exercise faith and repentance and repeat. If you do these things, you will stay on course for your greatest destination. Not only will the journey be one of peace and happiness but your reward will be an eternity of joy and rejoicing, happiness beyond measure.

This weekend I was privileged to spend several hours learning about Jesus Christ. At a church meeting for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) we devoted all our attention to that Savior Who is the center of our religion, our faith, and our lives.

Jesus Christ is as the hub of the great wheel of our lives. He is at the center, the core, of all that we do. As Nephi, the Book of Mormon prophet declared:

“And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins” (2 Nephi 25:26.)

Those few hours I spent learning more about the Savior have filled my heart with joy. I can truly say that I feel to “rejoice in Christ.”

To rejoice in Him means that we go forth in life with a generally happy outlook that reflects our faith in our Savior. We know that as we follow Him and do those things that He has asked us to do, He will bless us with His comfort and His grace.

In his article, “Mom, Are We Christians?” Gary J. Coleman wrote:

“We know that “his grace is sufficient” for us to be redeemed from death and sin and to be perfected in Him (see Moroni 10:32–33). While we face disappointments and even tragedies, we know that because of Him, our eternal happiness is assured. As our faith in Jesus Christ shines through, we show others who “labour and are heavy laden” how to find rest in Him (see Matthew 11:28–30)” (Ensign, May 2007, 92–94.)

The Savior Jesus Christ is as a Light to the world. He guides us and shows us the way we should go to obtain eternal life and happiness. His offer to bear our burdens gives us hope that we don’t have to face our challenges alone and in fact, there is a caring Friend who is willing to share our burden—to carry it all, in fact, if we will let Him.

If we will put Jesus Christ at the center of our lives, and let all other priorities stem from Him, then our lives will run smoothly and we will find joy within them.

Imagine a giant wagon wheel—the hub is large and solid, and all the spokes join the wheel in that center and move outward to attach to the rim. Imagine those spokes represent our families, our careers, our hobbies or interests, our friends. If one of those spokes were to break or fall out, the wheel would still function as it was meant to—it would continue to go round and round without faltering. However, if the hub were to somehow be broken, or it was not well formed or solid, then there would be nothing to retain the spokes and the wheel would fall apart.

I testify that if you will put Jesus Christ at the center of your lives and allow all other interests and priorities to stem from Him, then your life will have order and you will be blessed. Rejoice in the Lord your Savior. Remember Him in all that you do. He will bless your efforts and you will have joy.

One of the great inhibitors to true happiness is a failure to realize our true potential.

There are a lot of reasons why we settle for less—from ourselves, from others, from life. We can’t do much about what others do, or about how life turns out, but we can—and we must—make the best use of our own life, of our own talents and abilities.

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons) talk a lot about talents as gifts from God. You will see many Mormon men and women who seem to have it all—success in their careers as well as obvious talents that they readily share with the people around them. This is because we believe in the parable of the talents as told in Matthew, that the more we make use of those talents, or gifts, that God has given us, the more we will receive (Matthew 25:15-16, 20, 22, 24-25, 28.)

Learning to recognize your talents can be difficult. Sometimes we are not blessed with a remarkable musical talent, or the ability to disassemble and reassemble a car engine in record time. Sometimes are gifts are of a more subtle nature—perhaps we are able to discern when a friend really needs a listening ear, or a kind word.

In the Book of Mormon, we learn about the ways we receive talents, or gifts of the Spirit, and how you should use them:

And again, I exhort you, my brethren, that ye deny not the gifts of God, for they are many; and they come from the same God. And there are different ways that these gifts are administered; but it is the same God who worketh all in all; and they are given by the manifestations of the Spirit of God unto men, to profit them.

And to another, exceedingly great faith; and to another, the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;

And all these gifts come by the Spirit of Christ; and they come unto every man severally, according as he will (Moroni 10:8, 11, 17.)

I have long been a fan of Mother Theresa—a more giving and truly charitable person I’ve never known. But did you know that she suffered from pangs of doubt and feelings of inadequacy? Who would ever have guessed that this remarkable woman every doubted herself or in what she was doing? Yet, she did.

She hung a poem on the wall of the orphanage she founded in Calcutta. One can only assumed that she posted it there as a reminder to herself—a reminder to keep on keeping on, even when doubt assailed her.

Our Heavenly Father loves us and He has blessed us with many gifts and talents, many opportunities, to fulfill the measure of our creation. When we are being all that we can be, we grow closer to God and our hearts are filled. It is then that we can find true joy and experience happiness in all that we do.

And so I would like to encourage you to search your heart for those things that bring you joy, because perhaps they are a priceless gift that you have yet to fully appreciate. And when life’s trials seem insurmountable and the obstacles before you loom above you, remember who you are—a child of God, an individual with unlimited potential.

Mother Theresa’s poem … “Anyway”

People are often unreasonable,
illogical and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,
People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful,
you will win some false friends and
some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank,
people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,
someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness,
they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,
people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis.
it is between you and God;
It is never between you and them anyway.
(Author Unknown)

Recently I’ve found myself contemplating my future should I outlive my husband. The truth is that he is not well and it is likely that I will survive him. It isn’t a happy truth or a fact I care to look at too closely—nevertheless, it remains.

I could choose to ignore it and carry on like always—without a plan, like an ostrich with its head in the sand, as they say.

Or, I could face the problem, acknowledge it, and make a plan.

I would imagine, I would have a great deal more peace as I consider my possible future, and a lot more happiness and freedom to enjoy my today because of a good, solid plan.

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons) have an advantage over much of the world because we are not left alone to contemplate our futures in a world that has turned so hatefully against the values we hold most dear.

We are blessed with a Prophet—the voice of the Lord on the earth today—and he leads and guides us and helps us to know the path that we should follow.

The scriptures speak of prophets as “watch[men] upon the tower” who see “the enemy while he [is] yet afar off” (http://scriptures.lds.org/dc/101/54#54 D&C 101:54) and who have “beheld also things which were not visible to the natural eye … [for] a seer hath the Lord raised up unto his people” (Moses 6:36.)

The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ. It is filled with wonderful stories that teach and inspire. More importantly, it presents us with the Plan of Salvation and invites us to live our lives according to that plan.

President Boyd K. Packer said, “If you understand the great plan of happiness and follow it, what goes on in the world will not determine your happiness” (Ensign, May 1994, 19.)

Planning for possible outcomes in our lives can bring us peace. But reading and adhering to our Father in Heaven’s plan of salvation can not only bring you joy in this life and eternal happiness in the world to come.

The President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormon Church,) has a wonderful way with words. Long before he became our Prophet and Seer, I enjoyed listening—and learning—from this great man.

Twice a year Mormons enjoy a General Conference, during which time we are taught by the leaders of our Church—including our Prophet. In April of this year, President Thomas S. Monson gave a talk I thought you could benefit from.

President Monson taught us about “Treasure of Eternal Value” (Ensign, Apr 2008, 4–9.) He said that there are three key components to living your life worthy of “joy unspeakable and eternal happiness hereafter.”

Those three keys are:

1. Learn from the past.
2. Prepare for the future.
3. Live in the present.

Today, it is not popular to speak of God and His importance in our lives. However, there was a time when God shaped a man’s destiny—particularly for those men and women who settled the United States in their efforts to assert religious freedom for themselves and their children.

We are the blessed descendants of such people—whether we live in the United States or in regions around the world—our parents knew the value of God and sought to include Him in their lives.

We would do well to learn from their example and to strive to emulate it.

Learn from the past.

People have been trying, from time immemorial, to see into the future. Many have claimed they could, but most of us cannot. In lieu of sure knowledge, we must be prepared. Oftentimes that requires a sacrifice today, but if we will keep our sites on our goal, we’ll know the sacrifice is worth it.

Also, we must pray daily to our Father in Haven, who loves us, because He will guide us in the way we should go—he wants each of us to succeed in life and prayer will help us stay on the right path.

Prepare for the future.

Too often the old adage “Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today,” is ignored as we daydream of the past and long for the future. But doing so robs us of our today, and today is the only guarantee we have.

We should never take the blessings we enjoy today to be forgotten or taken for granted. Too often, those blessings take the form of loved ones who share our lives and friendship. Live in the moment and tell the ones you love how you feel—they will be blessed for it, and so will you.

Live in the present.

The Savior, Jesus Christ, said:

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:19.)

Think of these three components of pieces to a map that will guide you to the greatest treasure you could ever hope to find. Learn from the past, prepare for the future, and live for today. Remember God loves you. Be happy.

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) we have additional scripture and revelations that have increased our understanding of the premortal life, our purpose in mortality, and our potential for eternal life. The Prophet Joseph Smith taught,

“The great Jehovah contemplated the whole of the events connected with the earth, pertaining to the plan of salvation, before it rolled into existence … ; the past, the present, and the future were and are, with Him, one eternal ‘now’” (History of the Church, 4:597.)

Heavenly Father saw the end from the beginning and so it’s easy to imagine that the commandments He has given to us throughout the generations were for the purpose of helping us win the rewards He has prepared for us. Since He desires for us to be happy, it would stand to reason that following the commandments will help us achieve that happiness.

Today, the voice of the world would seek to convince us that following commandments is cumbersome and old-fashioned. However, happy people know that “wickedness never was happiness,” as Alma teaches (Alma 41:10.)

King Benjamin, a Book of Mormon prophet taught:

“And moreover, I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness. O remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it” (Mosiah 2:41.)

There is a period of time in the Book of Mormon when the Nephites were said to have “lived after the manner of happiness” (2 Nephi 5:27.) They did not achieve this happiness overnight—it came after much hard work, scripture study, and continued faith in the Lord.

John B. Dickson, wrote in his talk “After the Manner of Happiness” (Ensign, Feb 2008, 14–18:)

“Keeping the commandments was an essential condition to their happy way of life: “And we did observe to keep the judgments, and the statutes, and the commandments of the Lord in all things” (2 Nephi 5:10). They were not selective in the commandments they kept, but “in all things” they sought to be obedient. They knew that their temporal well-being, as well as their spiritual growth, depended upon their keeping the commandments of God.”

But mistakes do happen. When we inevitably do slip in our faithfulness, all is not lost. Even prophets and apostles before us have been imperfect. The wonderful gift of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that His atonement is for every one of us. If you should make a mistake, repent of your sins and sin no more.
“By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (D&C 58:42–43.)

Elder Dickson lists five steps that will help us to obtain not only happiness in this life but eternal life in the world to come:

1. Have faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and a desire to enjoy the blessings of celestial life.
2. Recognize mistakes and correct them through repentance.
3. Know that the Lord invites us to enjoy eternal happiness but will never force us.
4. Believe that the Savior can truly help us be clean and happy.
5. Have faith that forgiveness comes to those who truly repent.

Remember that you are a child of God and that He loves you. He prepared His plan of happiness for us from the very beginning and has surely provided a way for us to achieve that happiness. I testify that following the commandments of God is the right way to find and keep true happiness.

Picture this: You’re driving down the road and you see a large station wagon on the road in front of you. Through the windows of the car you can clearly see the turmoil going on inside. The wagon is loaded with people. Bare feet dangle outside the rear window while elbows and arms hang loosely out the side windows. The luggage rack is packed full and the body of the car sports many dings and scratches. Up front, the mom tries to wrestle an unruly toddler while simultaneously trying to pacify a crying baby. Dad, meanwhile, is just trying to keep his place on the road. Can you see it clearly in your mind? One more thing … The back bumper sports a sticker that reads: “Are we having fun yet?”

What’s the first thought that pops into your mind? Do you think this family could not possibly be happy? Or is this the picture of happiness to you? Isn’t that question the epitome of our daily life? We set out to have fun, we make all the plans necessary to maximize our happiness potential. But inevitably most days something happens that gets in the way of our happiness. We feel let down, resentful, and like happiness isn’t a possibility for us.

When you feel that way, like happiness is always just out of your reach, you need to take a moment to recognize that the gift of happiness is all around you, it is within you, and always within reach.

The Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ, tells us “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Ne. 2:24-25.) Our Father in Heaven loves us and He wants nothing more than for us to be happy. The Prophet Joseph Smith said, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it” (History of the Church, 5:134.)

In his article entitled “Happiness,” Jack H. Goaslind of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, said,

“Our yearnings for happiness were implanted in our hearts by Deity. They represent a kind of homesickness, for we have a residual memory of our premortal existence” (Ensign, May 1986, 52.)

The Book of Mormon speaks of dwelling “with God in a state of never-ending happiness” (Mosiah 2:41.) It also says that “all things shall be restored to their proper order, every thing to its natural frame, … raised to endless happiness to inherit the kingdom of God, or to endless misery to inherit the Kingdom of the devil.” We also learn that we are “raised to happiness according to [our] desires of happiness” (Alma 41:4-5.)

The scriptures use such words as reap, restored and desire with purpose and meaning. Happiness is a consequence of our choices, not a reward. We are restored to a state of happiness only after we have consistently made good choices. Alma, a Book of Mormon prophet said, “Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10.) Can you imagine finally being in the presence of God and Jesus again, weighed down by bad choices? Your misery would be unbearable. I want you to be able to feel the full measure of joy that can be yours if you make right choices and can stand, happy, before your Lord and Savior one day. I want that for myself too!

Two things stand primarily in our way of being able to experience that full measure of joy one day: sin and adversity.

The worst thing about the suffering caused by sin, though, is that it is by choice that we suffer so. If ever you are in doubt as to which course of action is best for you, which choice is right and which wrong, listen to your conscience because that is the voice of the Spirit whispering to you and guiding you in the direction you should go.

Unfortunately, adversity is a part of everyone’s journey in this life. We can avoid sin, but no amount of good choices is going to free us from adversity. Jesus Christ said, “For whosoever will save his life shall loose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it” (Luke 9:24.) Look outside of yourself and your troubles, and you will find your own burdens become a little easier to bear.

Finally, follow the commandments.

“If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love. …
“These things I have spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full” (John 15:10-11.)

Avoid sin, choose the right. Serve others when life gets you down. Follow the commandments. Three simple steps, all within your power, and when someone asks you “Are you having fun yet?” you’ll be able to answer with a resounding YES!

When my husband and I first got married we lived near my university while I finished up my degree. Around Valentine’s Day, that first year, we heard of a couple’s communication skills workshop being offered on campus. We thought it would be a fun and interesting thing to do. We had no idea that the skills we would learn during that class would bless our lives like it has.

Even now, almost seventeen years later, we cherish the skills we learned during that month-long course when we were very first married. Whenever we have the opportunity to advise young couples getting married, we share some of the pearls of wisdom we learned when we were young. In honor of Valentine’s Day I’d like to share some of those things with you too.

Scientific studies have found that those couples, who rate communication as an integral part of their marriage, are happier in other aspects of their marriage as well. This may primarily be due to the difficulty of working through life’s problems when we aren’t good at talking to each other. Life is hard, and bearing the burden of challenges or trials can be too much to bear on our own. However, if we have made the effort and taken the time to develop an honest and uplifting habit of communication we find we are not alone after all and those burdens become a lot more bearable.

In 1993, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormon Church,) published an article in the Ensign, a Mormon magazine, about happiness in marriage. The article states: “The quality of the communication between husbands and wives, no matter how long they have been married, can be a key to determining whether couples suffer through or savor their marriage relationships” (“Talk about Happiness!,” Ensign, Feb 1993, 20.) It’s also important to remember that the quality or tone of the communication we share is as important as actually having it. Effective communication should build each person up, or at least not tear them down.

Elder Marvin J. Ashton an apostle in the Church, agreed with author John Powell who said, “the genius of communication is the ability to be both totally honest and totally kind at the same time” (John Powell, as quoted in Ensign, May 1988, p.64.) I