Finding Happiness

Is there anything that you want more than to be happy? You might list several things that you feel you need to make your life complete, but probably the overarching desire, the thing you want most of all, is just to be happy.

This has been mans’ goal since the beginning of recorded history. Mans’ search for happiness is the root behind any great advancement in society—as hopes rose that around the next corner things would get easier, better, and we could finally be happy.

It’s not a surprise that we are so consumed with the desire to be happy. In the Book of Mormon the Lord said, “Men are, that they might have joy” (2 Ne. 2:25.) We were created to desire and search for happiness—and God means for us to find it.

Even the founding fathers of United States of America gave our pursuit of happiness prime billing in the Declaration of Independence:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

The problem with a pursuit that is so all-consuming is that we tend to believe we have found it, only to discover that our hopes are false. What is happiness? Where do we find it? How do we obtain it?

Most people would claim that money was an essential element in achieving happiness. You’re unhappy without it, surely you would be very happy with it. However, endless research fails to prove that to be true. In fact, research tends to indicate that money alone is seldom, if ever, our key to true happiness.

David O. McKay, then president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or Mormon Church, once made reference to a statement by John D. Rockefeller—then one of the world’s richest men—who apparently had stomach trouble and had purportedly said, “I would rather be able to enjoy a good meal than have a million dollars.” Then with a wink of the eye, President McKay remarked, “Of course, he had a million dollars when he said that.”

It’s easy to make light of the need of money when you have more than enough. But when you see no end to your money troubles and you feel that you are constantly drowning in debt, you can’t imagine any happiness without money.

But beyond a sufficient amount for our needs, money has little to do with true happiness. W. Eugene Hansen, a leader in the Mormon Church wrote “Often it is the work and sacrifice one experiences in obtaining money for a worthwhile purpose that produces the most satisfaction” (“The Search for Happiness,” Ensign, Nov 1993, 81.) He goes on to share a story from his father’s personal history about his Grandmother’s experiences growing up in Brigham City, Utah, in the late 1800s.

“Their family was very poor, having emigrated from Denmark with little more than the clothes on their backs. She wanted so much to have a pair of shoes she could wear on special occasions. To accomplish this worthy desire took a full summer’s work of picking berries and tending children, since money was very scarce and labor was cheap. But the joy Grandmother felt as she obtained those shoes is indescribable, for not only was she able to wear them, but her mother did also. In fact, they had it arranged so Grandmother would wear the shoes to Sunday School in the morning, and then her mother would wear them to sacrament meeting in the evening.”

William George Jordan, American editor and essayist, wrote:

“Happiness does not always require success, prosperity or attainment. It is often the joy of hopeful struggle, consecration of purpose and energy to some good end. Real happiness ever has its root in unselfishness—its blossom in love of some kind” (The Crown of Individuality, 2d ed., New York: Fleming H. Revell Co., 1909, pp. 78–79.)

Don’t mistake the pursuit of riches as the pursuit of happiness. Money is a needful thing, but it is not the sum of all things. Find happiness in the journey, and you will be doubly blessed in the end.

One of the best ways to forget about your own problems is to focus on the problems of others. When you serve other people, you soon feel the weight of your own burdens lifted and you realize, almost despite yourself, that you are happy.

But for many of us, it’s hard to know who or how to help. At least, that’s often how it is for me. I feel like I can be a good helper, but I need someone else to tell me what to do because left on my own I probably won’t see it. I think that’s either because I’m still too absorbed in my own problems to truly see the need of another, or it’s because the ability to serve is a talent. Perhaps, it is both.

Regardless, starting at home is a wonderful opportunity for all of us to practice the art of service. At home, we can feel at ease stepping outside of ourselves and looking at the load another is carrying to gauge how we might help. Service inside the home is not a cop-out. It’s a necessary part of happy home life.

Mother serves her husband and children by seeing that everyone is fed and has clean clothes to wear. Father works hard to provide a safe home for his family. When one of these family leaders begins to think more of themselves than of the other family members, chaos reigns and love and happiness flee.

D. Lee Tobler, a leader in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) wrote, “One of the major stresses on families today is that the individual—the child or the parent—sees himself or herself, rather than the family, at the center of life. Focusing on ourselves, and not on the larger vision of bringing the family together, can lead to contention” (“Homegrown Happiness,” New Era, Feb 2004, 11.) The family can only thrive when its members watch out for each other.

Service, whether in or out of the home, is a matter of heart. We have to desire it, we have to want to see another person happy. In a world that values self-preservation so much, it’s often difficult for us to look outside of ourselves and put another first. But the more you serve, the more full your heart becomes—full of love for the person you have served.

This is a gift from God, a payment if you will, for putting another before yourself. The Book of Mormon reads, “when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17.) Such love and devotion for another of God’s children brings Him joy and blesses your own life as well.

Elder Tobler wrote, “If the family is to be eternal, the family has to be first—the highest priority.” Mormons believe that not only is the family elemental for a happy life, it is essential for a joyful eternity. Let your family be the testing ground for your new commitment to serve and to love other people more than you love yourself. In so doing, be prepared for your heart to swell, not only with an increase in love, but with happiness overflowing.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or the Mormon Church, as many people call it. I am what is called a ‘convert’ to the Church, which means that I was taught the gospel by missionaries and I joined as a young woman, of my own free will and choice.

My family, who are not Mormons, strongly disagreed with my choice. Though it’s been eighteen years since I made it—and they no longer question whether or not I am happy—still they regularly ask, “How can belong to a church that restricts your freedoms so much?” Because The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints has a strong code of ethics, the Word of Wisdom which guides our physical habits, and a strict code of conduct for its members, my family assumes my freedom is also restricted and I am following the rules blindly.

But I do not choose to follow blindly, I choose to follow because in doing so I have found a greater happiness, a more reliable source of peace and contentment than I ever had before I joined the Church.

In 1987 Glenn L. Pace, a leader in the Mormon Church spoke about this very thing. When considering people who “look happy and free” he counseled:

“Don't mistake telestial pleasure for celestial happiness and joy. Don’t mistake lack of self-control for freedom. Complete freedom without appropriate restraint makes us slaves to our appetites. Don’t envy a lesser and lower life” (“They’re Not Really Happy,” New Era, Mar 2002, 28.)

Book of Mormon prophet Lehi, had an amazing dream one night. In his vision he saw a great and spacious building, which scripture teaches us represents the pride and temptations of the world:

“And I … beheld … a great and spacious building; …

“And it was filled with people, both old and young, … and their manner of dress was exceedingly fine; and they were in the attitude of mocking and pointing their fingers towards those who … were partaking of the fruit” (1 Ne. 8:26–27).

Mormons have a phrase we repeat often: “Choose the right” we say. You’ll often see members of the Church wearing rings with the symbol CTR on them—they wear these to remind themselves to choose the right in every situation, wherever they may find themselves.
We need to remind ourselves to choose the right because everywhere we go there is temptation to enter that great and spacious building. It isn’t always easy to choose the right, to follow the Word of Wisdom or to be obedient to the counsel of leaders. But we know that as long as we do what is right we are more free, less burdened by guilt, and free from the chains of sin.

That freedom allows us to be who we were created to be. It allows us to be happy. The prophet Joseph Smith said:

“Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 255–56.)

My family continues to ask why I would restrict myself so much by being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And I continue to respond the way I always have. I feel more free now than I ever did before. I am happier now than I ever was before. I testify to you that if you will choose the right, to follow that path that which is marked by virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness and keeping the commandments of God, you will be happy too.

Recently I read a story in the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ, that tells of Nephi and how he and his people “lived after the manner of happiness” (2 Ne 5:27.)

I want to live after the manner of happiness, don’t you? In fact, I’d hazard a guess that happiness is the life-long goal of every person who lives. Except, I think we too often believe, mistakenly, that happiness is to be found in success, riches, possessions, admiration, or the like. But that just isn’t so.

Happiness is to be found in our families, in our relationship with God, in our ability to look at ourselves in the mirror at the end of the day and like what we see. Oh, perhaps you won’t like the extra weight you are carrying, or the pimples that are popping up on your face so late in life, or the wrinkles that belie your age, but you can like the light that shines from your eyes—and that light can shine brighter if we have walked in the footsteps of the Lord.

When describing the lifestyle he and his people lived, Nephi said that “And we did observe to keep the judgments, and the statutes, and the commandments of the Lord in all things” (2 Ne. 5:10.)

I can testify from personal experience, that living righteously and keeping God’s commandments makes us happy. Alma, another Book of Mormon prophet, summed it up when he said, “Wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10.) How many times have you done something you knew shouldn’t do? And how often did you later wish you hadn’t done that thing? If you’re anything like me the answer would be, too often.

In an address given to Brigham Young University students, Marlin K. Jensen, said:

“From the depths of my soul I testify that Satan wants us to believe we are an exception to God’s rules, that somehow our transgressions are more noble and justifiable than anyone’s have ever been. But that is a lie. And not only do we offend God by breaking His laws; we also offend ourselves and others, and thereby experience heartache, suffering, and misery—the exact opposites of happiness” (“How to Be Happy,” New Era, Aug 1999, 4.)

There was a time in my life when I truly did believe that I was an exception God’s rules. I was a victim of other peoples’ bad choices—how could I be expected to do what was right when so many in my life had done me wrong? I felt justified in being bad because being good didn’t seem to get me anywhere.

I would have to write a whole book to explain how I came to see the error in my thinking, but suffice it to say, I had that precious ‘aha’ moment wherein I finally came to see that in choosing to continue my bad behavior, I only continued to hurt myself. It was only when I started to do what I knew was right, to follow God’s commandments, that I began to feel my burden lifted, and I began to feel hope.

Now, after seventeen years of practicing righteous behavior, I can honestly say that “wickedness never was happiness.” Don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not perfect. Not even close. But I am somewhat further down the road of obedience than I once was and I am happier for it.

If you feel burdened by wrong choices, either your own or those of others, I encourage you to turn your face to God. Seek to do what He commands as outlined in the scriptures, and I promise He will lift your burdens and reward you with happiness to cheer your days.

It’s all very well and good for us to decide to be happy, but how in the world do we make it happen? How do you go from a life that is full of challenges and upset to a life that is full of optimism and happiness?

It’s not only my job to think of how it might be done, it’s also my life’s mission—just like I’m sure it’s yours. All of us are striving to be happy, all of the time. It’s just that we are all at various stages of finding (or losing) it.

I love the Book of Mormon, which is another testament of Jesus Christ. Whenever life gets hard for me, I turn to its pages and no matter how many times I’ve read it, I still learn something new. So, I went to the Book of Mormon to determine what it might have to say on the topic of happiness.

There were a lot of challenges in Book of Mormon times, but there was a lot of happiness too. Just after Nephi went his own way, apart from his brothers Laman and Lemuel, he established a society based on gospel truths. Nephi says of his group of believers, “And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness” (2 Ne 5:27.)

But how? How did they live after the manner of happiness?

When Nephi left his brothers, he did not strike out alone. He said, “I … did take my family … and Sam, mine elder brother and his family, and Jacob and Joseph, my younger brethren, and also my sisters” (2 Ne 5:6.)

When I married my husband, we had the opportunity to move five thousand miles away from where we lived at the time to go to a school he really wanted to attend. At the time it seemed like a small matter to just throw our things into the back of our car and drive off into the sunset. Except, now we have spent the last seventeen years of our marriage trying to get back to my family.

What I didn’t value then, I long for now with all my heart. There is never money enough to go visit, the distance is too great for a visit of any length anyway and with little children the task becomes not only even more daunting but even more important.

What I once valued for naught, I now value more than anything. I would happier, I’m sure, if I lived near my family—I lived as if they mattered. Marlin K. Jensen, in an address given to Brigham Young University students, said:

“There was good reason that Nephi took his more righteous siblings with him into the wilderness. He belonged to them and they belonged to him. There is no other organization that can so completely satisfy our need for belonging and provide the resulting happiness that a family can” (“How to Be Happy,” New Era, Aug 1999, 4.)

If your family is anything like mine, sometimes they drive you crazy and you wish maybe they would appreciate you more, do things differently or … a myriad of other things. But in the end, it’s your family that you cling to in times of difficulty. It’s your family that can pull you out of the quagmire of loneliness and sadness.

Your family belongs to you as you do to them. No one will or could ever love you like they do. Hold them close, listen to them and learn from them. Therein lies an important key to happiness.

We’ve all heard it. Maybe we’ve even said it, ourselves. “If only I could make just a bit more money—then I’d be happy.” So we work hard, sacrificing time away from our families, refusing to take vacations, all in an effort to be the best at our job and to make more money. Often it works and we get what we had hoped for; sometimes it doesn’t work and we get passed over for the promised promotion or raise.

Regardless of the outcome of our sacrifice, the thing that is constant is that we find we are not, in fact, any happier. Usually, we end up somewhat less than happy.

We think back to our newly married days, the days when we didn’t have much, but oh we were happy. Were we happy simply because everything was new? The new love, the new life together? Or were we happy because there were fewer responsibilities, fewer demands on our money and therefore, fewer demands on our time?

Today “affluence is up, but happiness is down, as indicated by rising divorce rates…” says Lynn G. Robbins of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) in his talk entitled “The Cost of Riches” (Ensign, Jun 2003, 24.) So we have what we hoped for—more money. But we oftentimes don’t have what we really wanted—more happiness.

It has been said that a rich man doesn’t own his things; rather, his things own him. The more we have, the more work we need to do just to maintain what we have. It is a vicious cycle that has no end, unless we put a stop to it.

Elder Robbins says that “One antonym for greed, and perhaps the antidote to it, is contentment.” The Apostle Paul stated, “I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content” (Philip. 4:11.) Be satisfied with what you have, and more, be grateful for it. Contentment and gratitude are essential if you are to be truly happy.

Benjamin Franklin said: “The eyes of other people are the eyes that ruin us. If all but myself were blind, I should want neither fine clothes, fine houses, nor fine furniture” (Quoted in Andrew M. Allison and others, The Real Benjamin Franklin (1987), 364.) He knew that time is the one thing that is purchased by not spending money, but that time was the one thing truly worth having more of.

The Savior Himself is the greatest example of proper prioritizing. With so little to distract him He was able to devote Himself to His ministry. The Lord doesn’t expect us to adopt a life of poverty, but His counsel is pretty clear: “Thou shalt lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better” (D&C 25:10) and “A man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth” (Luke 12:15.)

Benjamin Franklin said, “When you have bought one fine thing you must buy ten more, that your appearance may be all of a piece; … ‘’tis easier to suppress the first desire than to satisfy all that follow it’” (The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin, Poor Richard’s Almanac, and Other Papers (n.d.), 227.) This is especially true today and is evident the country over with families in crisis, and homes in the balance. Where once we were satisfied with small, modest homes, today we often seek out large, grand homes that require not just ten “fine things” but hundreds. We simply can no longer afford the lifestyle our greed has caused us to seek after.

“Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, …

“But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal” (3 Ne. 13:19–20.)

Our greatest treasure has to be our family. And time spent with them, nurturing them, making memories together, is the best use of a valuable commodity. Elder Robbins supported this when he said:

“In “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” we learn that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children” (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.) Since the family is central, then the most important work we do, according to President Harold B. Lee (1899–1973), is “within the walls of [our] own home” (In Conference Report, Apr. 1973, 130; or Ensign, July 1973, 98.) Note the word within. Parents earn money outside the home to make a living, but they spend time inside the home to make a life.”

I feel confident that as we avoid that “outward show” but strive instead to be content with what we have, we will discover true happiness for ourselves and our families.

Often, I have quoted the Mormon Prophet Joseph Smith when he declared: “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it; and this path is virtue, uprightness, faithfulness, holiness, and keeping all the commandments of God” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, pp. 255–56.)

How to be happy seems pretty clear, then. As long as we are on the path that he describes, we’ll be happy. But how do we get on that path? How do we stay on it? President Thomas S. Monson, then a member of the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, described in his article entitled “Happiness—The Universal Quest” (Ensign, Oct 1993, 2,) the ways that we can get on the path and stay there.

First, the path of virtue. The dictionary proffers the definition of virtue as “conformity to a standard of right: … a particular moral excellence,” the beneficial qualities of “strength or courage”—even “valor.”

Temptation comes to all of us, there are none who can escape its reach. However, we are not left defenseless in the face of such trials of character or moral courage. The Apostle Paul assured us that “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it” (1 Cor 10:13.)

President Monson said that our conscience warns us as a friend before it punishes us as a judge. And I love that because all of us have that little voice in the back of our mind that whispers to us about the choices we are making—most of us can accurately distinguish between right and wrong, it’s just whether we choose to listen to that voice of reason or not that determines how we might act. We must “Learn that he who doeth the works of righteousness shall receive his reward, even peace in this world, and eternal life in the world to come”(D&C 59:23.)

Second, the path of uprightness. Few of us live perfectly upright lives. Perhaps none before or after Job have truly attained this righteous goal. However, Job didn’t live a perfect life—far from it. His life was beset with trials worthy of the most unlucky soul on earth. Yet, his moral compass never faltered and he never gave in to the temptation to just give up.

Dr. Karl Menninger, stated that the only way our suffering, struggling, anxious society can hope to prevent its moral ills is by recognizing the reality of sin. That’s the theme of his famed publication, Whatever Became of Sin? a plea to mankind to stop and look at what we are doing to ourselves, to each other and to our universe. Dr. Menninger referred to Socrates, who wondered, “How is it that men know what is good, but do what is bad?” Said Dr. Menninger, “I have come to the conclusion that the ‘Everyone is doing it’ morality which characterizes our public-business world is crippling people. We must believe in our personal responsibility to correct our individual transgressions—the white lies, the petty cheating, the apathy, which characterize our passive existence.” He further stressed, “If the concept of personal responsibility and answerability for ourselves and for others were to return to common acceptance and man once again would feel guilt for sins and repent and establish a conscience that would act as a deterrent for further sin, then hope would return to the world” (See Karl Menninger, Whatever Became of Sin? (New York: Hawthorn Books, Inc., 1973.)

Third, the path of faithfulness. This path connotes allegiance, loyalty, and adherence to promises. Faithfulness does not take holidays or days off. We can’t be faithful one minute but not the next. It is constant by its very definition.

The key to faithfulness is to have your goal in mind and to never waver. N. Eldon Tanner declared: “I would rather walk barefoot from here to the celestial kingdom … than to let the things of this world keep me out” (In Conference Report, Sept.–Oct. 1966, pp. 98–99.)

I often quote Captain Nesmith from the movie Galaxy Quest, “Never give up—never surrender.” And so too, must we never give up our quest for true happiness, nor surrender our virtue and moral values to get there.

Fourth, the path of holiness. Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ entreated all of us to follow His righteous example, to live as He lived. He spared no needy person His time or His compassion. He gave of his help however and whenever he could. And He wanted us to do the same.

If we walk in His footsteps, this will lead us to on a holy path, which path leads to happiness in this life and joy beyond imagining in the life to come. Few of us will attain the sort of holiness we associate with the Savior, but what a glorious life it would be if we only tried.

Fifth, keep all the commandments of God. “He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him” (John 14:21.)

I testify that as long we keep our sights set on our eternal goal and strive to keep our feet soundly on the path that leads us home, we will experience happiness, even joy, every day of our lives. This is the life God intended for us to have. He wants us to be happy. Let’s not disappoint Him.

Cicero, the great Roman orator, claimed that gratitude was “not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others” (Marcus Tullius Cicero, Pro Plancio, 54 b.c.) With a grateful heart, our minds are free to experience true happiness because we aren’t distracted by complaints and self-pity. President Joseph F. Smith, former leader of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormon Church,) proclaimed: “The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil” (Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. [1939], 263.)

But how, in a world that fights to drag us down and does such a good job at it too, do we keep our hearts happy, full of gratitude and thanksgiving?

The very first thing we must do is to open our eyes to all the blessings in the world around us.

Some days there may be little to be thankful for, it might be as small as that you are still breathing—and perhaps at times, that doesn’t exactly feel like a blessing. Yet, you are alive and therefore able to face another day, able to look and see what other blessings may come your way.

Once you start looking for blessings, you are sure to find them. If they are difficult to find at first, keep looking, keep counting, and you will soon find that you truly do have a great deal for which to be thankful.

Once our eyes are open and we can see the blessings in our lives, the next thing we must do is to open our hearts. Often our hearts become so hardened that even when we can see that which we should be grateful for, it’s hard to crack that tough shell and let our hearts be filled. Yet fill it we must, with love, faith and thanksgiving.

To live in thanksgiving daily is the surest way to keep our hearts open to the opportunities around us and to ensure that we continue to recognize and receive continued blessings.

One of the best ways to show gratitude for our blessings is to strive to bless the lives of those around us. The Book of Mormon prophet, King Benjamin taught his people:

“If you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice. …

“… If ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants” (Mosiah 2:20–21.)

If ever you are uncertain how to render thanks to God, King Benjamin told us that as well: “And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17).

A grateful heart can be your greatest boon in your life. President Gordon B. Hinckley has said:

“My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life, we ‘accentuate the positive.’ I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment and endorse virtue and effort” (Standing for Something [2000], 101.)

Choice blessings await those who live in thanksgiving daily. “He who receiveth all things with thankfulness,” the Lord has promised, “shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more” (D&C 78:19.)

Among the blessings you can expect to receive, happiness is sure to be one of them. Develop a grateful heart and not only your heart but your life will be filled with happiness.

I have a friend who makes me smile every time I see her. She always gives me a big hug and sincerely asks how I am. Often, I forget to ask how she is because she makes me feel like I am the most important thing—me, and my life. And because she radiates love and joy, I often assume that all is well with her.

The irony is, that is just not true.

Her husband is embroiled in an ugly battle with his former employer and is currently out of work. She has a young son with disturbing mental issues. She fosters several teenage girls with varying troubles of their own. She is a woman, trying to make ends meet, trying to be a good mom, trying to be a good friend, just trying to get by.

If she were any other woman, I’m sure she would be crying on my shoulder. If she were any other woman, she wouldn’t be any of the things I admire so much about her. Despite her challenges, she is happy and she lets that happiness shine on all those around her so that they are cheered and uplifted as well.

I’ve had occasion to talk with her about how she can be so happy, despite all that fights to bring her down. Her response? Gratitude.

She is grateful for a loving husband who wants to work and is capable of work. She is grateful for her children and the opportunity she has to be their mother. She is grateful that she can offer a safe and loving home to children in need. She is grateful for friends who hug her when she needs a hug—never mind that is us who feel are being hugged by her, it’s the same regardless, we are all getting hugs!

Cicero, the great Roman orator, claimed that gratitude was “not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others” (Marcus Tullius Cicero, Pro Plancio, 54 b.c..)

Our Father in Heaven knows that being thankful is a hallmark of happiness. In the Doctrine and Covenants, a collection of modern day revelation given to the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) God said, “Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things” (D&C 59:7.) He has also admonished that “in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things, and obey not his commandments” (D&C 59:21.)

My friend has learned this and taken it to heart. She practices this principle daily and stands as an example of its truthfulness. She has truly learned to “live in thanksgiving daily” (Alma 34:38.)

President Joseph F. Smith, former leader of the Mormon Church, proclaimed:

“The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life. Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!” (Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. [1939], 263.)

Can you imagine what my friends’ life might be like if she chose not to be thankful in all things? Perhaps it would look a little more like mine, or yours. But can you see how such a small act as being thankful can make such a difference in the life one woman, one family—and how that difference could be magnified in you and me? We could start an epidemic of happiness, just by choosing to be thankful today and every day.

In the Book of Exodus, God gave Moses ten commandments, detailing the least that is required of us to be worthy of our place in Heaven. The seventh commandment might appear to us to be out dated—out of touch the reality of modern day life.

The seventh commandment is the law of chastity. That commandments teaches that we must practice chastity before marriage and fidelity afterward. However, we have all heard renowned modern-day psychologists say that such old fashioned standards as chastity, virtue and marriage aren’t relevant today and that it’s impossible to live up to such standards

Don’t believe it.

The value of virtue and chastity are perhaps more relevant today than they have ever been. In his talk, “What Is Real Love and Happiness?,” Neal A. Maxwell of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) taught six ways that being chaste in todays world can bring you closer to happiness in this and in the world to come (New Era, Jun 1992, 4.)

1. When you choose to follow the Lords’ commandments, you will be in harmony with Him. Your relationship with Him will be preserved and enriched, helping you to retain his Spirit.

When your thoughts are virtuous, your confidence will “wax strong in the presence of God” (D&C 121:45.)

2. You will discover and retain the blessing of deserved self-esteem. By understanding your own worth, you will be able to truly love your neighbor. “Let every man esteem his brother as himself” (D&C 38:24.)

3. Sin deadens our senses. In these last days, the capacity of man to love will “wax cold” because of iniquity (see Matt. 24:12.)

4. You will be free from the heavy burden of guilt. “Despair cometh because of iniquity” (Moro. 10:22.) Free from guilt, you are not turned inward with self-pity.

5. You will be kept from a very real harm. Reports indicate that “as many as 43 million Americans may have acquired incurable sexually transmitted viral infections” (Deseret News, 7 Oct. 1991, p. 7A).

Such diseases, including AIDS, make clear medically what has always been clear spiritually: the only safe pattern of physical affection is within the bounds of marriage—especially a marriage of two consistent commandment keepers. Abstinence from sin is better than moderation or even repentance. Prevention is better than any cure!

6. You will develop a personal wholeness and serenity, which will greatly bless you in both courtship and marriage and in all of your life. The one you choose to love will be respected by you as an individual and not merely as an object of physical attraction and gratification. Your relationship can be as deep, rich, and broad as eternity.

I can truly testify, from my own personal experience, that “despair cometh because of iniquity” (Moro. 10:22.) There is no downside to choosing the right.

Choose the right, keep yourself clean. The Book of Mormon tells of a people who all strove to stay clean before God: “And surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God” (4 Ne. 1:16.)

I pray that you and I can also be examples of righteous living and in doing so, obtain a happiness that fills our hearts, now and forever.