Finding Happiness

The First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormon Church) defined the family in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” in 1995 (Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.) The proclamation was inspired in part by the passionate controversy that has been brewing worldwide for some time now about the importance, or unimportance, of the traditional family. Mormon beliefs include the family as a conventional unit with a man and a woman as husband and wife, hopefully blessed with children.

Recently, a growing and abundant body of academic research has begun to support the Church’s belief that the traditional family is more than an out-dated formula, but of true advantage to the well-being of men and women throughout the world and across all race and socioeconomic classes.

These findings were presented in an article entitled “Happiness, Health and Marriage” (Elizabeth VanDenBerghe, Ensign, Aug 2001, 29.” The article states:

“Findings reaffirm that marriage relationships need to be built on righteous principles—“a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other,” in the words of the proclamation. It is clear that marriages based on righteous principles are the kind of marriages that lead to lasting happiness.”

While the statistics support male/female traditional marriages, it doesn’t mean that a loving and committed husband and wife will escape the trials and tribulations of life. Life happens to all of us. The meaning behind the numbers though, seem to say that if we are happily married we are more likely to weather the storms of life with a better outlook and outcome.

The real question for me, though, is why is this so? One psychology professor maintains that the intimate friendship a husband and wife share is a safety net of sorts, allowing for all of our foibles and weaknesses and all of our challenges to be shared and vented and dealt with in a safe and understanding environment. Other specialists support the idea that spouses help each other take care of themselves so healthier eating habits, exercise and sleep patterns are achieved and maintained.

The article was lengthy and presents in great detail the many ways in which traditional marriages are seen to be of greater benefit to individual happiness over less traditional relationships. I encourage you to read the article if you are interested in viewing the citations and reading more. Through it all I find it very interesting that the research shows a trend that people are much more likely to flourish and find happiness in a healthy heterosexual marriage.

Strong, happy marriages are the glue that holds our society together. Happy marriages create healthy, capable individuals who feel good about themselves and their ability to contribute in a positive manner to their community. Healthy marriages raise children with strong moral values and who grow to be effective and contributing members of our society. Value your marriage, nurture it. You’ll be doing good not only for yourself, your spouse and your children … but for the world around you, too!

Picture this: You’re driving down the road and you see a large station wagon on the road in front of you. Through the windows of the car you can clearly see the turmoil going on inside. The wagon is loaded with people. Bare feet dangle outside the rear window while elbows and arms hang loosely out the side windows. The luggage rack is packed full and the body of the car sports many dings and scratches. Up front, the mom tries to wrestle an unruly toddler while simultaneously trying to pacify a crying baby. Dad, meanwhile, is just trying to keep his place on the road. Can you see it clearly in your mind? One more thing … The back bumper sports a sticker that reads: “Are we having fun yet?”

What’s the first thought that pops into your mind? Do you think this family could not possibly be happy? Or is this the picture of happiness to you? Isn’t that question the epitome of our daily life? We set out to have fun, we make all the plans necessary to maximize our happiness potential. But inevitably most days something happens that gets in the way of our happiness. We feel let down, resentful, and like happiness isn’t a possibility for us.

When you feel that way, like happiness is always just out of your reach, you need to take a moment to recognize that the gift of happiness is all around you, it is within you, and always within reach.

The Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ, tells us “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Ne. 2:24-25.) Our Father in Heaven loves us and He wants nothing more than for us to be happy. The Prophet Joseph Smith said, “Happiness is the object and design of our existence; and will be the end thereof, if we pursue the path that leads to it” (History of the Church, 5:134.)

In his article entitled “Happiness,” Jack H. Goaslind of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, said,

“Our yearnings for happiness were implanted in our hearts by Deity. They represent a kind of homesickness, for we have a residual memory of our premortal existence” (Ensign, May 1986, 52.)

The Book of Mormon speaks of dwelling “with God in a state of never-ending happiness” (Mosiah 2:41.) It also says that “all things shall be restored to their proper order, every thing to its natural frame, … raised to endless happiness to inherit the kingdom of God, or to endless misery to inherit the Kingdom of the devil.” We also learn that we are “raised to happiness according to [our] desires of happiness” (Alma 41:4-5.)

The scriptures use such words as reap, restored and desire with purpose and meaning. Happiness is a consequence of our choices, not a reward. We are restored to a state of happiness only after we have consistently made good choices. Alma, a Book of Mormon prophet said, “Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10.) Can you imagine finally being in the presence of God and Jesus again, weighed down by bad choices? Your misery would be unbearable. I want you to be able to feel the full measure of joy that can be yours if you make right choices and can stand, happy, before your Lord and Savior one day. I want that for myself too!

Two things stand primarily in our way of being able to experience that full measure of joy one day: sin and adversity.

The worst thing about the suffering caused by sin, though, is that it is by choice that we suffer so. If ever you are in doubt as to which course of action is best for you, which choice is right and which wrong, listen to your conscience because that is the voice of the Spirit whispering to you and guiding you in the direction you should go.

Unfortunately, adversity is a part of everyone’s journey in this life. We can avoid sin, but no amount of good choices is going to free us from adversity. Jesus Christ said, “For whosoever will save his life shall loose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it” (Luke 9:24.) Look outside of yourself and your troubles, and you will find your own burdens become a little easier to bear.

Finally, follow the commandments.

“If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love. …
“These things I have spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full” (John 15:10-11.)

Avoid sin, choose the right. Serve others when life gets you down. Follow the commandments. Three simple steps, all within your power, and when someone asks you “Are you having fun yet?” you’ll be able to answer with a resounding YES!

I once heard a talk given by President Gordon B. Hinckley, the late Prophet and President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormon Church) that I’ve found myself thinking a lot about lately. I suppose it was less a story and more of an observation really, in which President Hinckley relayed a time when he drove up to an old farm gate. The gate, he saw, was controlled by small hinges that made only the slightest of movements in their assigned duties. The gate itself, however, swung in a large arc, sixteen feet in radius. President Hinckley noted that the decisions we make in our lives can likewise have tremendous consequences. One small thought, one small word, some small action can have far reaching consequences beyond our imagining.

My sister sometimes likes to talk about a thing she calls “stick-to-it-iveness.” If you make up your mind to do something, to achieve something, to be something, you ought to stick with it and see it through. Mormons would say to keep the faith. Being true to yourself and the promises you have made to yourself and to others around you, can bring you happiness and a peace of mind rarely available. You need to be able to count on yourself, and it’s a positively powerful feeling when you know others can count on you too.

Even the Lord Himself said:

“What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same” (D&C 1:37-38.)

Remember those tiny hinges and the impact they had on the gate and it’s ability to function as it was created. Think what impact your small deeds, words or even thoughts have on the world around you. Strive to make even your small actions count for something good in this world.

The Lord also said:

“Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Ne. 27:27.)

I believe that if we remember to be the sort of people others can count on, whose word is golden and actions speak of honor and integrity, we will feel satisfied with ourselves. Such deep personal satisfaction will bring us peace and a lasting happiness of true value.

When my husband and I first got married we lived near my university while I finished up my degree. Around Valentine’s Day, that first year, we heard of a couple’s communication skills workshop being offered on campus. We thought it would be a fun and interesting thing to do. We had no idea that the skills we would learn during that class would bless our lives like it has.

Even now, almost seventeen years later, we cherish the skills we learned during that month-long course when we were very first married. Whenever we have the opportunity to advise young couples getting married, we share some of the pearls of wisdom we learned when we were young. In honor of Valentine’s Day I’d like to share some of those things with you too.

Scientific studies have found that those couples, who rate communication as an integral part of their marriage, are happier in other aspects of their marriage as well. This may primarily be due to the difficulty of working through life’s problems when we aren’t good at talking to each other. Life is hard, and bearing the burden of challenges or trials can be too much to bear on our own. However, if we have made the effort and taken the time to develop an honest and uplifting habit of communication we find we are not alone after all and those burdens become a lot more bearable.

In 1993, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormon Church,) published an article in the Ensign, a Mormon magazine, about happiness in marriage. The article states: “The quality of the communication between husbands and wives, no matter how long they have been married, can be a key to determining whether couples suffer through or savor their marriage relationships” (“Talk about Happiness!,” Ensign, Feb 1993, 20.) It’s also important to remember that the quality or tone of the communication we share is as important as actually having it. Effective communication should build each person up, or at least not tear them down.

Elder Marvin J. Ashton an apostle in the Church, agreed with author John Powell who said, “the genius of communication is the ability to be both totally honest and totally kind at the same time” (John Powell, as quoted in Ensign, May 1988, p.64.) I cannot stress enough the importance of being kind and sensitive in your communications with your partner. Even the slightest suggestion that you are disinterested or that you disapprove of your partner can sometimes make them feel insecure and defensive.

Elder Russel M. Nelson, another apostle of the Church said: “Taking time to talk is essential to keep lines of communication intact. If marriage is a prime relationship in life, it deserves prime time! Yet less important appointments are often given priority, leaving only leftover moments for listening to precious partners” (Ensign, May 1991, p. 23.)

In our class, we were taught to set aside a specific time each day where we could be sure to be free from distractions, so that we could talk and listen to one another. It was important to be able to look at each other. Make eye contact. Smile. Show your partner you are willing to hear what he or she has to say, by wearing an open friendly expression.

Express your thoughts and feelings using “I” statements. Take responsibility for what you feel, rather than saying blaming things like “you make me feel …” Try “I feel unimportant when you spend time after work with your friends rather than coming straight home to be with me.” When you use “I” statements without putting the blame on your spouse, you express your feelings without making him or feel guilty and defensive. It’s a wonderful took for keeping the line of communication open particularly when trying to share those hard things that can so often make us defensive.

The other most important thing we learned is to express your needs clearly and with respect. We enjoyed the example that our teacher in our workshop shared with us: When she was dating the man who later became her husband, she wanted him to take her to see a movie very badly. Every time he came to pick her up he would say “You don’t want to go see a movie tonight, do you?” Because he sounded like he didn’t want to see a movie, like he was leading her or expecting her to say “no”, she said no! It wasn’t until years later when they had both learned how to communicate better that they finally discovered why they hadn’t ever seen a movie together. He had wanted to see one too!

If there is something you need or want say it. A good example would be, “I’d love to see a movie tonight. How about you?” Our partners are not mind readers, as much as we might wish that they were. Tell your spouse what you want in a kind and respectful way. You might find you both desire many of the same things!

These have been just a few of the things my husband and I learned that have helped us over the years. I hope they will help you find happiness in your marriage too.

Marriage, we are taught, “is ordained of God unto man” (D&C 49:15.) Our Father in Heaven wants us to be happy and if He created marriage as a sacred institution for us, I feel confident that it’s purpose is to help us find happiness. Take the time to lovingly communicate with your spouse, take responsibility for your feelings without blaming your partner, and express your needs and wants in clear and kind words. You will find these simple tools to be a real treasure to you and your spouse and, if you practice them regularly, I hope you find they bring you true happiness in your marriage.

In The Living Christ: The Testimony of the Twelve Apostles, we read, “His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come.” But how can we find His path? And once we have found it, how can we get on it and stay on it?

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons) we believe in thirteen articles of faith, or tenets, the fourth of which states:

“We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost” (Articles of Faith 1:4.)

How can faith in the Lord Jesus Christ help us find the path that leads to happiness? To answer this question, we must understand that were it not for a perfect Savior who willingly gave His life for us, there could be no remission of our sins. Lehi, a Book of Mormon prophet, taught that “no flesh … can dwell in the presence of God, save it be through the merits, and mercy, and grace of the Holy Messiah” (2 Ne. 2:8.)

Next, we must repent of our sins and give them up, forever. Repentance involves not just a change of actions but a change of heart. The Lord said, “Behold, this is my doctrine—whosoever repenteth and cometh unto me, the same is my church” (D&C 10:67.) http://scriptures.lds.org/dc/10//67#67 In his talk, “A Mighty Change of Heart” President Ezra Taft Benson said:

“If we wish to truly repent and come unto Him so that we can be called members of His Church, we must first and foremost come to realize this eternal truth—the gospel plan is the plan of happiness. Wickedness never did, never does, never will bring us happiness. Violation of the laws of God brings only misery, bondage, and darkness” (Ensign, Oct 1989, 2.)

In the scriptures we read of men whose lives were changed in dramatic ways when they repented. For most of us, repenting does not bring such astonishing results. We shouldn’t second-guess ourselves or assume we are somehow less worthy if we don’t experience such things ourselves. “There are hundreds and thousands of people who find the process of repentance much more subtle, much more imperceptible” says President Benson. Little by little, day by day, these people live quiet lives of goodness and service, striving to live the lives God has asked of them. Don’t be like the Lamanites who the Lord said “were baptized with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and they knew it not” (3 Ne. 9:20.)

The Psalmist exclaimed:

“O how love I thy law! … Thou through thy commandments hast made me wiser than mine enemies. … Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. … Thy testimonies have I taken as an heritage for ever: for they are the rejoicing of my heart” (Ps. 119:97-98, 105, 111.)

I pray that you can be found rejoicing in your heart also. Please don’t get down on yourself if you fail to hear angels singing or the voice of God Himself reassuring you that you have been forgiven of your sins. Have faith. Believe. Know that your Savior gave His life for you and that all is required of you is to live by that knowledge, through faith, repent and sin no more. Your Heavenly Father wants you to be happy so He has prepared a way for you. If you will follow Him, have faith in Him and repent of your sins, you will find yourself on the path that leads to happiness.

In 2003, Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormon Church,) wrote an article entitled “Three Choices” (Liahona, Nov 2003, 78–81.) In his talk, he speaks of three choices we can make to improve ourselves and find happiness.

The first choice is to repent of your sins and begin again. Not to start over, because no one can go back to the beginning, but to give up the bad things we are doing, and begin again. First we need to recognize those things we are doing wrong and repent of them. To repent means not only to ask for forgiveness but also to make the commitment to never do that thing again. By daily dedicating ourselves to that promise we take our first steps toward real self-improvement.

The second thing we must do on our road to bettering ourselves is to set our priorities and take care of first things first. We will not be perfect in a day. We will not even be perfect in a lifetime. But by carefully determining the most important things that need to be accomplished each day, and applying ourselves to those things in the order of their priority, we can feel satisfied that we have done our best.

The third and final thing is to not only do things, but to do the right things. Elder Wirthlin tells the story of a Bishop who was counseling a young man, struggling to make an improvement in his own life. After successfully making his way through steps one and two, the young man finds himself still feeling empty inside, still unhappy. This Bishop says the right things are those things our Heavenly Father would want us to do. The young man asked “How do I know what the right things are?” In reply, the Bishop pulled from his desk drawer a set of worn, well-used scriptures. He said:

“Through the scriptures and the words of latter-day prophets. These are the ‘right things.’ Some believe that the commandments of our Heavenly Father are restrictive and hard. To the contrary, they’re a handbook to happiness. Every aspect of the gospel of Jesus Christ—the principles, the doctrines, and the commandments—is a part of our Heavenly Father’s plan to help us obtain peace and happiness.”

From the Book of Mormon, the Bishop read the words of King Benjamin:

“Consider … the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness” (Mosiah 2:41.)

As the bishop read, the young man thought about his own life. Though he had made great strides and gone from being homeless to renting a comfortable apartment and owning a car, the things he had acquired had not brought him happiness. Maybe there was truth in what the bishop was saying. Maybe what was lacking in his life was a relationship with Heavenly Father and a commitment to living by His commandments.

“Remember the words of the Savior,” the bishop said, as though he knew what John was thinking. “ ‘For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?’” (Mark 8:36)

Elder Wirthlin tells how the young man made a commitment that very night to read the word of God and learn for himself the commandments and teachings of his Heavenly Father. As he read and learned, the emptiness in his soul began to dissipate and in its place he slowly discovered peace and joy beyond anything had imagined. Elder Wirthlin says, “Where once he was broken, sorrowful, and close to death, now he felt alive, vibrant, and filled with joy.”

I testify that we have our own handbook of happiness available to us today and that is the scriptures, the Holy Bible, the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants. I promise that as you read them and apply their teachings to your own life, your heart will be softened and you will be filled with a desire to take your daily walk of life along the path that God has laid out for you. Read the scriptures, and you will find joy.

As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or the Mormon Church as it is commonly known,) we believe in the Plan of Salvation, or the “the great plan of happiness” as Alma called it in the Book of Mormon (Alma 42:8.)

The Plan of Salvation, as taught by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, provides a road map of eternity that we can use as our guide in this life. This plan answers such questions as “Where did we come from?” “Why are we here?” and “Where are we going?” All answers can be found in the gospel of Jesus Christ and they will bring you great happiness.

The gospel teaches us that we are all the spirit children of heavenly parents. Our purpose in coming to earth is to work toward eternal life. We are here to choose for ourselves the way we would go, so that our eventual homecoming will be all the more sweet.

Mormon beliefs teach that there was a great council in heaven where the spirit children of God were taught His eternal plan, or that great plan of happiness. Without a physical body we had progressed as far as we could. To realize a fullness of joy, we had to learn to choose for ourselves, to prove that we would keep the commandments of God in circumstances where we had no memory of our premortal life.

Here on earth, our bodies would be subject to all manner of infirmities, even death. We would be allowed to be tempted by Satan. Our Heavenly Father’s plan provided a Savior for us whose atonement would redeem us from death and pay the price for sins so that we could be forgiven and made clean once more if we would repent.

When we understand the Plan of Salvation, we can feel peace in our understanding of the purpose of God’s commandments and we can obtain happiness in following the path the Plan lays out for us. I encourage you to follow His Plan in faith. If you know what is right and strive to choose accordingly, repent of your missteps when they happen, you can partake in God’s promised mercy and you will be happy.

God wants you to be happy. Happiness is not a golden ticket won by chance. Happiness is yours for the taking, by making righteous choices and living a good life. Life does not have to be perfect for you to happy, because happiness is not found outside of yourself. You hold the key to happiness within yourself, at this very moment.

In his talk “Be a Quality Person” (Ensign, Feb 1993, 64,) Marvin J. Ashton, listed six ways that we can be better people and in bettering ourselves, becoming quality people, we will find the well of happiness within us. He said “Don’t worry about being a good wife [or husband]. Concern yourself with life’s number one priority: being a quality person. If you are a quality person, you don’t have to worry about being a good wife, mother, daughter, Church member, leader, single, or community strength. If you are a quality person, you will be good in any situation in which you find yourself.”

1. Respect yourself. Respect your morals, your virtues, your body and your choices. If you respect yourself you will take care in your appearance and your behavior. When you respect yourself, you will be happy with yourself knowing that you have not compromised your values or beliefs. William George Jordan once said, “Man has two creators, his God and himself. The first creator furnishes him the raw materials of his life—the laws and conformity with which he can make that life what he will. The second creator—himself—has powers he rarely realizes. It is what a man makes of himself that counts.”

Mormon beliefs (members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) include the ancient Book of Moses. In that book we read: “And it came to pass that Moses looked upon Satan and said: Who art thou? For behold, I am a son of God, in the similitude of his Only Begotten; and where is thy glory, that I should worship thee?” (Moses 1:13)I love that! It all comes down to that. You are a child of God, in the similitude of His Only Begotten. Remember.

2. Value integrity. Be the sort of person other people can trust. Elder Ashton said “Truly happy persons will always be totally honest in their dealings with their fellowman.” The scriptures are replete with examples of the value of integrity, but I love this scripture the best: “for I, the Lord, love him because of the integrity his heart, and because he loveth that which is right before me, saith the Lord” (D&C 124:15, 20.) Knowing that God can trust you, what a happy feeling!

3. Do not be easily offended. Life is too short to spend it with hurt feelings. Don’t let yourself get bogged down in despair over the bothersome things other people do or say. Be optimistic and have hope, then you will be truly happy. Allowing yourself to take offense is like shutting yourself off in a prison. Dark and lonely, there is rarely happiness in such a place. In Proverbs we read, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle” (Proverbs 18:19.)

4. Develop the capacity not only to love, but to be loveable. Be tender and sincere with others at every possible opportunity. Worry less over who loves you, and more over who you love and how you can show them. Giving love and kindness to others, without thought for how those feelings might be recriprocated is your surest route to personal happiness. That is the pure love of Christ and it will enliven your soul and bless you. "But charity is the pure blove of Christ, and it endureth cforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him" (Moroni 7:47.)

Thomas P. Malone said: “Almost every emotional problem can be summed up in one particular bit of behavior: it’s a person walking around screaming, ‘… Love me.’ Love me, that’s all. He goes through a million different manipulations to get somebody to love him.

“On the other hand, healthy people are those who walk around looking for someone to love. And, if you see changes in the people who are screaming, ‘Love me, love me,’ it’s when they realize that if they give up this screaming and go to the other business of loving another human, they can get the love they’ve been screaming for all their lives. It’s hard to learn, but it’s good when you learn it.” (“Points to Ponder,” Reader’s Digest, Jan. 1974, p. 151.)

5. Don’t be a complainer. If you have a habit of criticzing or nagging others, let it go. If you adopt an attitude of optimism, you’ll find where there is something to complain about, there is also something to be grateful for. Focus on the good, see the glass as half full and your spirit of optimism will see you through.

6. Develop real faith and live by it. Model your life in this fashion: “and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God. And behold, they were faithful until the end; therefore they were saved” (Alma 5:13,) and you will also find joy in your journey. “With true faith we will increase our meaningful relationship with God. This will develop and expand our knowledge that God is our father. He lives. He loves us. He hears our prayers and would lead us to eternal happiness.”

Above all, be kind to yourself. When you look at yourself in the mirror, be slow to judge. See the good in you. Your Father in Heaven does! He created you. He loves you. You have all the potential in the world to be truly happy, and you hold that happiness within you every day. It is only up to you to decide if you will be the kind of quality person that can unlock the happiness within and live your best life now.

As Primary children in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we learn to “choose the right” so that we might live happily. The hymn says:

Choose the right when a choice is placed before you.
In the right the Holy Spirit guides;
And its light is forever shining o’er you,
When in the right your heart confides.

[Chorus]
Choose the right! Choose the right!
Let wisdom mark the way before.
In its light, choose the right!
And God will bless you evermore.

Choose the right! Let no spirit of digression
Overcome you in the evil hour.
There’s the right and the wrong to ev’ry question;
Be safe thru inspiration’s pow’r.

[Chorus]

Choose the right! There is peace in righteous doing.
Choose the right! There’s safety for the soul.
Choose the right in all labors you’re pursuing;
Let God and heaven be your goal.

[Chorus]

LDS Hymns #239

Like the hymn says, if we choose the right, we will have peace and God will bless us evermore. Lehi, a Book of Mormon prophet, said, “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy” (2 Ne. 2:25.) Our Father in Heaven not only wants us to have joy, but He has shown us the way.

Of the several things we can do to ensure our happiness, immersing ourselves in a relationship with Heavenly Father through daily and constant prayer is first and foremost. The Doctrine and Covenants, a collection of modern day religion, teaches, “Pray always, that you may come off conqueror; yea, that you may conquer Satan, and that you may escape the hands of the servants of Satan that do uphold his work” (D&C 10:5.)

When you pray always, you will be worthy of the Comforter who can grant you “inspirations power” as the hymn says, and be strengthened to choose the right in every choice placed before you. The Apostle Paul taught protection from the temptations of the world:
“Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil” (Eph. 6:10-13.)

Each morning, pray so that you may be clothed in the armor of God as you go through your day. The Comforter will enlighten your mind and through your conscience speak to you of what you should do in every choice you face. Keep a prayer in your heart always so that you might always remember who you are and have a desire to live up to the standards worthy of a child of God.

I add my hope and prayer for you to these words by N. Eldon Tanner:

“Put on the whole armor of God. With faith in him and with righteousness directing your actions, you cannot fail and you cannot help but be happy. There is no happiness mirrored in the faces of those who are creating the disturbances in our troubled world, but those who are doing what they know is right are happily going on their way and making progress. My hope for you is that you will have joy unspeakable here and eternal happiness hereafter” (“These Things I Have Learned,” New Era, Mar 1971, 2.)

Are you dreaming of the day when everything works out just right for you and then you can live happily ever after? Have you ever heard the old adage, don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today? Well, my friend, that includes your happiness too! Don’t put off being happy for some better, brighter tomorrow. Make today a happy one and live your happily ever after … right now.

With a few simple steps you can discover the happiness of your dreams in your day to day life. The scriptures teach us how, and many leaders have spoken up to help enlighten our understanding. One such teacher is Coleen K. Menlove, former president of the Primary General Presidency in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (also known as the Mormon Church.) In General Conference in April of 2000, Sister Menlove told us that our “opportunity is here and now to obtain happiness that extends beyond our earth life” ("Living Happily Ever After," Ensign, May 2000, 12.)

In the Book of Mormon, Lehi tells his son Jacob that every action must have its punishment or opportunity. He tells how when we are disobedient to God’s laws, we will suffer the punishments, but when we obey, we will be blessed with happiness (2 Ne. 2:10.)

Have you ever felt a heaviness weighing on your shoulders, when you have done something that you knew was wrong and yet your actions have gone unnoticed and unpunished? Your misdeeds, though they may be hidden from the eyes of man, are not hidden from God, nor are they hidden from your own conscience. That feeling is a reward to you, the reward of guilt and shame. However, if you choose to be faithful to God’s commands you are free from regret, you can be happy.

Not all in life is sunshine and roses, to be sure. We will all suffer our trials and tribulations, but it is often our attitude, or how we choose to bear our burdens, that will determine whether we are happy or sad. The Doctrine and Covenants say that in all things we should worship the Lord “with a glad heart and a cheerful countenance” (D&C 59:15.)

Elder Boyd K. Packer explained: “It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal. Teach our members that if they have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life” (“That All May Be Edified” [1982], 94).

In her talk, Sister Menlove shares a sweet story that highlights the choice we have every day to see the good in our lives despite the sour spots:

“A few months ago I had an opportunity to take a morning walk on a mountain trail with four of my grandchildren. We each brought a bag so we could collect treasures from nature. As we looked for pieces to put in our collection, we found many different colors, designs, and textures in the leaves and rocks. It was hard to choose. I soon noticed that the children’s bags were filling up. Each leaf the children selected was unique, but because it was late fall, most of the leaves had dark weathered spots, irregular shapes, or faded and discolored parts. Because of this, I was reluctant to add things to my bag. I was looking for a leaf that showed the brightest colors and had no flaws. If it wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t going to treasure it. But this meant that my bag had very little in it.
Later, as I thought about this experience, I realized that I had cheated myself of much delight and happiness that could have been mine. I didn’t appreciate the uniqueness of the objects because I was looking for what I had deemed perfection. My grandchildren had been wiser than I had been. They had savored the odd shapes and spots on the leaves. They giggled at and enjoyed the brittle crispness of the dying leaves, and they delighted in the soft, faded colors. They filled their bags with happy treasures to take home. We can fail to see and enjoy the unique happiness and beauty in each day if we are so focused on our desire for what we want instead of what the Lord has designed for us.”

Happiness can be found in the simple things in our life, in the quiet moments, the tender moments. Happiness need not be the sole of our existence, but I think we could say that we have happiness if we can find in each day these moments. Gordon B. Hinckley, former president of the Church wrote: “I am an optimist! … My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life, we ‘accentuate the positive’ ” (Standing for Something [2000], 101). I believe that as we strive to do this, to stand firm in the face of our trials, and allow ourselves to envoy the moments of happiness around us, we will find that we are happy, after all.

Recently I have read or heard the words “be true” a lot. Be true to yourself. Be true to your faith. Be true to your friends and associates. Be true to your family. President Gordon B. Hinckley, the late President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or the Mormon Church as it is commonly known) spoke often on being true. I found a wonderful talk given by him in a General Young Women meeting, in which he spoke to the young women of the Church. Since this phrase has been appearing in my life time and again lately, I thought I would like to learn more of what it means, and perhaps how being true could help me live a happier, more fruitful life.

Mormon beliefs can be summed up in thirteen points of doctrine, or articles of faith, as we call them. The thirteenth article of faith states:

“We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.”

First, we must be true to ourselves. Each of us has a conscience that speaks to us and helps us discern the difference between right and wrong. When we do the wrong thing, we can feel it. Likewise, when we do the right thing, we experience feelings of happiness and peace with ourselves. President Hinckley said, “To be true to ourselves meaning being an example of righteous living in all situations and circumstances” (Gordon B. Hinckley, “Stand True and Faithful,” Ensign, May 1996, 91.)

Being true to ourselves, also means being honest. In school, at work, or in our dealings with our fellow man, we must never cheat or steal. The old adage goes “honesty is the best policy” and it is as true today as when the wise person first said it. Even the finger of the Lord wrote on tablets of stone: “Thou shalt not steal. … Thou shalt not covet” (Ex. 20:15, 17.)

President Hinckley also suggests that we must be true to ourselves in matters of personal virtue. In the Doctrine of Covenants, a collection of modern day revelation, the Lord said by way of commandment, “Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly” (D&C 121:45.) The Lord knows that we cannot even think about immoral things because evil thoughts lead to evil deeds. However, if we will keep our thoughts, and our actions clean, we will be worthy of the Holy Ghost as our constant companion, and we can stand with confidence in the presence of our God. Think what happiness it would bring your heart, your soul, to know that God can look upon you and be pleased because you have nothing of which to be ashamed.

“Be true to yourselves and the best you have within you” President Hinckley said. We are children of a Heavenly God. We are his royal children. Be true to your divine heritage. If we can remember who we are, that we have an intimate relationship with God because He is a loving Heavenly Father, we can finally claim the happiness that is rightfully ours as His heirs. Be true to all that you were created to be. Be true … and be happy.

I love to crochet beautiful little baby things. Not long ago I couldn’t even make a decent looking chain of stitches but I was determined to learn, so I practiced a lot. Time and again I crocheted a square, only to discard it or pull it out. I was trying to make something without a pattern but every attempt I made, failed.

Finally, I got a pattern book that included the instructions for basic crochet stitches. I chose a simple pattern to start with and carefully began again. I still needed to pull out the stitches a few times before I started to get the hang of it. Eventually the tiny baby dress began to take shape and I was encouraged. As I saw my efforts beginning to bear fruit, my desire to become better grew. I practiced harder and marveled at the wondrous things my hands made.

My success in learning to crochet was not because I have some innate gift that made me unique or special. My success came from finding a good pattern to follow, acquiring the right tools for the job and then working hard at accomplishing my goal.

The same basic principles can be applied to life and our quest for happiness. I’m sure you, like me, have tried many different ways to find happiness. Satan’s ways are readily available and tied up with fancy bows and packaging so as to appear the most desirable. However, rarely do his ways provide any lasting happiness, and most often we are left with frustration and even despair as our best efforts are torn down and we are left to start all over again.

What a happy discovery, though, to find that the Lord has prepared a pattern that if we follow it carefully, we can achieve true happiness. He says, “I will give unto you a pattern in all things, that ye may not be deceived; for Satan is abroad in the land, and he goeth forth deceiving (D&C 52:14.)

The late Marvin J. Ashton, then a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormon Church as it is commonly known) wrote:

“The gospel of Jesus Christ is God’s pattern for righteous living and eternal life. It makes possible goal-setting and lofty priorities. Satan and his advocates will constantly try to deceive and entice us into following their patterns. If we are to achieve daily safety, exaltation, and eternal happiness, we need to live by the light and truth of our Savior’s plan. All salvation revolves around our Savior” (“A Pattern in All Things,” Ensign, Nov 1990, 20.)

Once we have the pattern for happiness, we find it’s simplicity belies it’s beautiful outcome. Not all patterns need be difficult for us to accomplish something we can be proud of. We have a pattern for prayer, as taught in the Book of Mormon, and directions for living by the word of God which can also be found in the scriptures. Daily following this simple pattern of prayer and scripture study can lead us to repent, to live worthy of the Comforter, to have faith in Jesus Christ to choose the right and with practice, to have joy in Christ.

The old adage that anything worth doing is worth doing well, is true. “And behold, it must be done according to the pattern which I have given unto you” (D&C 94:2.) His is the pattern for success and the finished product is one you can be proud of – a truly happy you.