Why Does God Give Some People More Than Others?
Filed under: Finding joy within the gospel, Overcoming Adversity
When I tell the story of Joseph and the multicolored coat, from the Old Testament, to young children, they never really get the story. In fact, they never really see Joseph as the hero. Those with younger siblings immediately side with the brothers, and think it’s really unfair Joseph got a beautiful coat and the brothers didn’t. Not only do they approve of Joseph’s brothers selling him, but they express a longing to do the same to their own seemingly more favored siblings.
Preschoolers want everything fair and equal. Sometimes, even as adults, we wish everything were equal. We look around and wonder why some people don’t seem to have any trials, or why some people have more blessings than others. We then wonder if that means God loves some of us less than others. Read more
Gratitude as a Path to Happiness
In difficult economic times, it might seem hard to make a Thanksgiving list of things we’re grateful for. However, no matter what our circumstances, there are always things to add to our list.
We are children of a loving Father in Heaven. That is the first item to place on any list. The second is that His Son, Jesus
Christ, loved us enough to die for us. These two blessings can serve as the foundation for all other blessings on our list. Some things cannot be taken from us, no matter how little income we have or how few our possessions.
In the May 2000 Ensign, a talk given by Bonnie D. Parkin in the Mormon General Conference, talked about gratitude during even the hardest of times. (See Bonnie D. Parkin, “Gratitude: A Path to Happiness,” Ensign, May 2007, 34–36.) She suggested showing gratitude toward Heavenly Father for our blessings was one way to find happiness in our trials.
Sister Parkin said, “Let me share a sweet story with you. A family was going through a difficult time. It was hard for them not to focus on their challenges. The mother wrote: “Our world had completely crumpled, so we turned to Heavenly Father for guidance. Almost immediately we realized that we were surrounded by goodness and were being cheered on from every side. We began as a family to express our gratitude to each other as well as to the Lord daily. A close friend pointed out to me that our family’s ‘blessing basket’ was overflowing. From that conversation came a sort of game, which my children and I grew to love. Before family prayer each night we would talk about how our day had gone and then share with each other all of the many blessings that had been added to our ‘blessing basket.’ The more we expressed gratitude, the more there was to be grateful for. We felt the love of the Lord in a significant way as opportunities for growth presented themselves.”2
What would a “blessing basket” add to your family?”
We often have no control over the trials we’re given. They come to us through our own choices or through the choices of others. Sometimes we can work to improve the situation, but other trials are outside our control. However, we can control how we view those trials and we can control where we focus our attention. Certainly, some trials require a great deal of our attention, but others must simply be gotten through. With either type of trial, we can focus exclusively on the negative portions of the trial, or we can give time as well to the good things going on in the background. Every day of our lives, something good is happening to us. When we pay attention to those good things and remember to take a few minutes to thank God for them, somehow the trials don’t seem as overwhelming. We’re able to see God’s presence in the worst of times, and to remember there will always be goodness during bad times.
“Gratitude requires awareness and effort, not only to feel it but to express it. Frequently we are oblivious to the Lord’s hand. We murmur, complain, resist, criticize; so often we are not grateful. In the Book of Mormon, we learn that those who murmur do not know “the dealings of that God who … created them.”3 The Lord counsels us not to murmur because it is then difficult for the Spirit to work with us.
Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God. Through it, we become spiritually aware of the wonder of the smallest things, which gladden our hearts with their messages of God’s love. This grateful awareness heightens our sensitivity to divine direction. When we communicate gratitude, we can be filled with the Spirit and connected to those around us and the Lord. Gratitude inspires happiness and carries divine influence. “Live in thanksgiving daily,” said Amulek, “for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you.”4
Mercies and blessings come in different forms—sometimes as hard things. Yet the Lord said, “Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things.”5All things means just that: good things, difficult things—not just some things. He has commanded us to be grateful because He knows being grateful will make us happy. This is another evidence of His love.”
The Book of Mormon, a book of sacred text used by Mormons alongside the Bible, tells of a man named Nephi. He wrote that he had been blessed all the days of his life. This might seem to be an unimportant, generic sort of expression until you realize those days of his life had been filled with trials that would do in the average person. As a young teenager, he had to flee his home with his family due to persecution, and leave for a strange new land. He was homeless for many years as he traveled through the wilderness. His two oldest brothers regularly abused him and even attempted to kill him numerous times. When his parents died, he, his family, and his supporters fled persecution and danger once again—this time escaping his oldest brothers.
And yet, despite a lifetime spent in a highly dysfunctional family and despite constant danger, he felt all—every one—of his days had been blessed. While he faced homelessness, he was never alone. While he faced abuse and attempted murder, he was always saved by angels or God’s power, and he always had the portion of his family that believed in him behind him. He seems to have focused his attention on the blessings, rather than the trials of his life. Certainly he couldn’t ignore the trials—it’s hard to overlook attempted murder—but they didn’t define his life in his own mind. Instead, he made a special point of noticing and expressing gratitude for the good parts.
Sister Parkin explained the blessings that come from a lifetime of choosing gratitude: “The kind of gratitude that receives even tribulations with thanksgiving requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit, humility to accept that which we cannot change, willingness to turn everything over to the Lord—even when we do not understand, thankfulness for hidden opportunities yet to be revealed. Then comes a sense of peace.”
Read “Gratitude: A Path to Happiness.”
God’s Diversity of Gifts
Filed under: Doctrine & Covenants, Finding joy within the gospel, Gospel Principles, Practices & Precepts, LDS Practices, Men & Priesthood, Priesthood, Priesthood, Self-Worth, Service, Uncategorized, Women
Mormon scriptures teach that every person God creates is given gifts, talents, traits, and experiences from Him, to be used to help others, as well as to bless our own lives. They are His gifts to us. What we choose to do with them is our 
gift to God. It does no good, for instance, to be given a gift to teach powerful spiritual messages if we refuse to learn about Jesus or turn down an opportunity to teach Sunday School.
11 For all have not every gift given unto them; for there are many gifts, and to every man is given a gift by the Spirit of God.
12 To some is given one, and to some is given another, that all may be profited thereby. (See Doctrine and Covenants 46: 11-12.)
Everyone, male and female, can receive spiritual gifts. The scriptures list many of these gifts, and it can be interesting, as we read, to highlight each gift mentioned. The gifts bless the holder of the gifts if he uses them wisely, but they can also be used to bless others. A person who has the gift of faith can use it to find the truth among conflicting and confusing choices. This gift can be used to help that person become a member of the Savior’s church. It comes to her through the Spirit of Christ. After receiving the Gift of the Holy Ghost, her faith grows even more. She might then choose to use that gift to pray for others or to share her faith with those who were not given as strong a gift as she received.
We’re taught that it is appropriate to pray for certain gifts, if we are prepared to use them wisely in the service of others, rather than to glorify ourselves. A person who is invited to teach a class, but lacks the gift to teach can begin to pray for it. While praying, of course, she must do what she can to improve her teaching skills, but God will step in and honor righteous requests if they are part of His plan for us. A prayer to become the greatest teacher in the world is not likely to be honored, because this is a prideful request, but a prayer to have the ability to teach the class one has agreed to teach will be honored.
The diversity of the human race is one of God’s best ideas. If we all had the same talents, gifts, and assignments, most things wouldn’t get done. The world needs writers, but it doesn’t need everyone to be a writer. It needs gardeners, but everyone doesn’t need a talent for gardening. Because each of us has different talents and passions, everything that needs doing gets done. If we each had all the talents possible in equal proportion, we might find ourselves spread too thin, and most things wouldn’t get accomplished. We’d all be doing whatever was easiest or created the most wealth, given human nature.
In the same way, God divided up certain tasks and assigned them to specific genders. Only women were given the ability to give birth. This doesn’t mean God loves men less; it only means that doesn’t happen to be one of the tasks assigned to them. Only men hold the priesthood, but that does not say women aren’t worthy or capable of holding it. Priesthood is an office, not a gender, but assigning it to men keeps it focused, just as assigning childbirth only to women keeps that aspect of life focused.
Within the Mormon Church, there are a great many tasks to be completed, because we have a lay religion and very complex programs. Everyone is asked to take on his or her share of the work. Tasks are assigned in various ways that make the church run more smoothly. Some are assigned by age: Only a twelve or thirteen year old girl may serve as a youth leader in the Beehive Program. (Beehives are girls of that age in the Young Women’s program for teenagers.) Others are assigned by gender: Only women can serve as Primary or Relief Society Presidents. (These are, respectively, the organizations for children and women.) Some tasks are open to anyone who is an adult: Anyone may teach the children or the literacy classes, even though only women can lead those programs. Some tasks are assigned by office: Only a person who holds the office of a high priest can serve as a bishop (the leader of a congregation.) It might appear that the rule is that only men can be bishops, but actually, the rule is that only high priests can be bishops. A good and worthy man who does not hold the office of high priest in the priesthood cannot be a bishop, no matter how qualified he is otherwise.
While it’s true that only men are to hold the Mormon priesthood (as we see from even a casual study of the Bible), this does not limit a woman from serving God, anymore than not being able to be the Primary president limits a man’s ability to serve God. There are many ways to serve, and God does not love the priesthood holders more than the Primary president—or the door greeter. We don’t get bonus points for serving in certain kinds of positions. God asks us to serve wherever He needs us, and if we do this well, we are blessed for our attitude and willingness to serve, not for the specific task accomplished.
Men holding the priesthood receive no special blessings over the women. It isn’t about power or blessings, or God’s love. It is, rather, about our trust in God and His plan. If we have a testimony that the Savior is at the head of the church, and that He sees with a vision greater than our own, we won’t waste valuable mortality hours fretting over what gifts or offices we don’t have. Instead, we’ll work hard to develop those God has asked us to take on. As with every other aspect of the gospel, it really comes down to a testimony. How much do you trust God?
When I was first investigating the church, the priesthood issue concerned me. As a teenager raised in the 1970s, I thought women’s lib was what I was supposed to be living, even though I was known for my love of taking care of children. In other words, my nature was fairly traditional, if you leave out housework. The missionaries, when asked about priesthood at the first lesson, told me they’d be happy to discuss it with me, but I needed more background and training in prayer first. They asked me to learn to pray, and to continue to study, and then we’d discuss it. By the time I was able to understand the answers, I no longer needed to ask the question. I had learned to get my own answers through prayer and I had come to see how much God valued the woman’s place in His kingdom. I understood that being told I had to turn into a man was degrading to women and insulting to God, who created gender. It was no longer a problem for me. I had become proud of the person God created in me.
Over the years, I’ve longed for certain gifts. Some I’ve been able to receive, such as an improved ability to teach. Others were not my calling, such as a desire to sing. Over the years, as I’ve grown and matured, I’ve stopped wasting time fretting over what I don’t have, and have begun to be thankful for what I do have. God gave me a most interesting gift box of traits, talents, and experiences. I would be ungrateful and unworthy of those gifts if I wasted my life whining they weren’t good enough.
Parable of the Talents
Filed under: Bible, Finding Happiness, Jesus Christ, New Testament, Teachings of Christ, The Bible
In the New Testament, Jesus told a parable of a man who, about to leave on a trip, gave each of his servants some talents (coins) to have stewardship over. Each received a different amount. Most of them used the talents in such a way as to increase the value of the stewardship by the time the master returned. However, the person who had received the smallest number of talents—only one—hid his in the ground to protect it, rather than working to make it worth more than it was worth originally.
Even though the man had only one talent, and others had as many as five, he was expected to make good use of that talent and to expand its value, rather than to bury it where it couldn’t help anyone.
Today, we often look around and see that others have far more talent than we do. When our talents don’t seem as many, we might feel less valued by God. When our talents are less great, we might wonder if it’s even worth doing anything with them.
Mormon beliefs teach that our talents are gifts from God. The number we’re given, or even the extent of them, really isn’t the point of the talents. They were given to us to do something with, and if we use them well, they will have value and even increase.
I’m an author. I didn’t write something publishable the first time I sat down to write. It took many years of writing badly written stories, articles, and books—beginning when I was only six years old—before I wrote something anyone was willing to publish. I received a large stack of rejection letters over the years before I received the first acceptance letter, and still receive rejections today, even after publishing a book that got good reviews.
My books will never be best sellers. I simply don’t have that kind of talent. Does that mean I shouldn’t write? Of course not. What I write may not make history, but it has helped a few people, and so has value. I’ve improved my ability to write over the years, and since I can live forever through the atonement, I expect I will improve a great deal in the next few million years. However, I can’t wait for the next life to get started; mproving my talents is one of my earthly assignments.
Sometimes we misjudge how talent and success work. I decided many years ago to return to school and take a math class, because I wanted to better help my children with their math. I’d always been awful at math, and was extremely frightened to take this class. However, I ended up getting straight A’s in every test, the first A’s I had ever received in math. A student who was not doing well noted my grade on the posted grade sheet and complained it wasn’t fair that I got A’s. He said it was easy for me because I was naturally good at math. I explained my history of math failures. My grades weren’t the result of talent; they were the result of hard work. We were required to do every other odd numbered problem. I did every problem, often three or four times. I worked a few weeks ahead of the class in case I got stuck and I received one-on-one help from the professor almost weekly by making use of office hours. I even cornered a professor or two I wasn’t taking classes from when I was really desperate.
Talent can help us to be successful, but hard work is also critical. I may never be a math genius, because my brain isn’t configured for that type of thinking. My talent in math was miniscule, but hard work made up some of the difference. Even with great talent, work is critical.
Of course, hard work can’t turn you into a genius in every case. Anyone who has heard me singing to my toddlers in the church nursery knows I’m never going to be a great singer, but even though singing might not be my talent, I can still sing, at least to toddlers who don’t care. I used to worry a lot about what I wasn’t good at. However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve stopped worrying about this so much and I’ve begun to focus on what I can do, or might be able to do if I really worked at it.
When I felt overwhelmed about writing a book, a friend pointed out that if I wrote only one page a day, I’d have a book in a year. I only had to focus on my one little page. Many of us are very busy and don’t feel we have much time for talents. However, if we give that talent even fifteen minutes of our time each day, we will be working toward something that will be ready for our greater attention in a few years, when we have more time.
The Savior, Jesus Christ, instructed us to make wise use of every gift God has given us. If we take even our tiniest talents and work at them, turning to God for help, we can magnify them and thereby honor the giver of the gift. The parable of the talents was given to us to remind us to make use of our God-given gifts to become the person God knows we can be.
Eternally Safe Choices–Undertanding Agency
Filed under: Becoming More Christlike, Discovering Yourself, Finding joy within the gospel, For the Strength of the Youth, Living the Gospel, Making Decisions, Peer Pressure, Teens & Seminary
The teen years are filled with temptation. The media, peers, even teachers and other adults can try to convince a young person that sin is okay, natural, normal, and fun. For a teenager with high standards and an eye for eternity, it can be a challenge to stay on the right path, when so many people are determined to take her off that path.
Fortunately, God and His servants have outlined effective ways for teens—and adults—to stay safe.
Staying safe is a matter of choices, and to make wise choices, we have to understand the concept of agency. This article will focus on agency, and future articles in this series will walk through the process of using that understanding to make eternally safe choices. Read more
Let Us Be Men
Filed under: Becoming More Christlike, Finding Happiness, Men & Priesthood, Service
The term “real men” is a popular one to bounce around, but the definition of a real man varies from culture to culture, even in the same country. Too many people equate true manhood with being rough and tough, liking freedom, doing as he pleases, and even being immoral. The Mormons have a different idea of what true manhood means.
In 2006, D. Todd Christofferson gave a talk in General Conference, a semi-annual international conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, on the subject of true manhood. He said:
“Though he will make some sacrifices and deny himself some pleasures in the course of honoring his commitments, the true man leads a rewarding life. He gives much, but he receives more, and he lives content in the approval of his Heavenly Father. The life of true manhood is the good life.” D. Todd Christofferson, “Let Us Be Men,” Ensign, Nov 2006, 46–48
Elder Christofferson told the story of his mother, who had a dangerous surgery that caused her great pain when she used her arms for quite some time afterwards. One day his father took her to a shop and asked the shopkeeper to demonstrate a new machine that ironed clothing. It utilized peddles operated by the leg, not the hands. She was shocked when he purchased it and paid cash. She was extremely worried because it was very expensive and she was concerned about how they were going to manage after having spent so much. He eventually admitted that he knew what she had tried to hide—that when ironing, she had to go into the bedroom and cry until the pain subsided, and so he had quietly gone without lunch for a year to save the money for the machine.
Elder Christofferson said that this was a true man—one who took care of his family even when it meant great sacrifice. A man makes his family and his responsibilities to God his priority in life, and everything else is secondary. This means that while his peers may be out playing, he may find himself hard at work during the day, and then come home to chores, helping his wife with her responsibilities, and playing with his children. For a real man, one who honors his role as a servant of God, this is not a hardship, even if it is sometimes tiring or frustrating.
Mormons are old-fashioned in some aspects of gender—meaning they stay with what God taught us men and women should be. The Family: A Proclamation to the World says of a man’s role:
By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.
Notice that it says men and women help each other in their duties. This means a Mormon man will often be found
washing the dishes or changing the diapers, even though it might be primarily the wife’s role. A real man isn’t embarrassed to be found doing this, nor does he feel that a long day at the office protects him from the responsibilities of the home, because he knows a mother is putting in a much longer day than he is. Parenting is a two-person job.
Men who have doubts about his role as a real man is counseled, Elder Christofferson says, to turn to the Book of Mormon for advice. When Jesus Christ visited these people, he asked
Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am (3 Nephi 27:27). This scripture tells us that a man who wants to understand his role in life should look at the Savior to see what sort of man He was. We know from many stories told us in the Bible that Jesus Christ was very respectful of women. He included many women among His friends and followers. He respected their ability to learn and He taught them individually. He didn’t save all the learning for the men, as we see in the story of Mary and Martha. This example shows us that a man should respect his wife’s intelligence and treat her as an important person, his equal, just as Jesus treated the women in his world as equals.
Jesus refused to allow his apostles to send children away who had come to see Him. Even though he’d worked a very long day and was tired, he put aside his need for rest and spent meaningful time with children, teaching them and building a relationship with them. His example tells fathers and other men what their attitude toward children should be. Although Jesus did not have children of His own, He demonstrated that a man’s children should be a priority, no matter how busy or tired they might be. He also demonstrated the responsibility to teach children the gospel.
Throughout the scriptures, Jesus is shown to be kind and gentle, not afraid to cry or to show compassion. At the same time, he had the courage to stand for the right against everyone, regardless of the cost to himself. He stood up for the downtrodden and those rejected by the world. He served those who were good and those who were “bad.” He defended the gospel without hesitation and refused to water it down to be politically correct or in tune with the times.
Elder Christofferson’s title comes from a Book of Mormon scripture that says, in part, “arise from the dust, my sons, and be men (2 Nephi 2:21).” To learn more about what it means to be a Mormon man, read the entire talk at LDS.org or watch the video below.
Loving Life, Trials and All
In the last General Conference before his death, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin, an apostle of the Lord, gave a memorable talk entitled “Come What May and Love it.” In this talk, he explains that the title of the talk is the advice his mother gave him at a time when he was upset over a football game he’d lost. He explained that every life has moments of hardship or sadness, and over time, he had developed several techniques for coping with them.
The first was to learn to laugh at mishaps instead of getting angry. He suggests this lengthens your life and makes the lives of others around you more pleasant as well. This is a lesson I learned long ago. I teach young children in church and there was a day when we found a body in the classroom-he turned out to be asleep, but looked dead-and a child asked me to explain where babies came from. The students got the giggles at the wrong moment and every carefully planned activity seemed to go awry. I could burst into tears or I could laugh. Over time, I’ve learned that laughter is better. When I have a bad class, I go home and search for the humor in it, and am somewhat known for my funny teaching stories. It just seems easier than crying, which is what I used to do after bad days.
Elder Wirthlin’s next tip was to seek for the eternal. He reminds us no one is exempt from trials, and points to several scriptural heroes who struggled with great trials, including Abraham and Moses. While their trials were great, there were eternal blessings that came from the trials. Trials can become blessings, but we can’t always see what the blessing will be just at first. God sees life through an eternal spectrum and knows things we don’t know. If we can trust Him, eventually, we too will understand how our trials can bless us and what we’ve learned from coping with them. Elder Wirthlin taught, “Sometimes the very moments that seem to overcome us with suffering are those that will ultimately suffer us to overcome.”
He next suggests adopting the principle of compensation. Elder Wirthlin explains, “The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.” This step, too, requires patience and faith, but it can help if we look at the loss and imagine what the compensation would be. Again, if we develop enough trust in God, waiting for the compensation can help us through the trials. Anticipation brings pleasure to lives.
His fourth step is to trust God and Jesus. This is encompassed in the previous steps, but it is helpful to keep it in mind as a separate step. It’s easy to trust God when things are going well, but the real test of faith is to see if we still trust Him when we can’t see how things could possibly work out. Reading the scriptures can help, because they are filled with true stories of people who trusted God and were rewarded for their faith.
One of my favorite stories of trust is found at the start of the Book of Mormon. Lehi, a wealthy man, was called to be a prophet. When his life was endangered, he was told by God to take his family, leave behind his wealth, and flee into the wilderness. While most of us would have serious doubts about that, perhaps even wondering if we’d really heard God correctly, Lehi didn’t hesitate. He packed up a few essentials and left everything behind. He had prophesied the destruction of Jerusalem, and he had faith in those prophecies. He knew if he’d stayed, he’d have been killed, either by the people of Jerusalem, or those who would come to destroy it shortly.
While most of us won’t receive direct revelation telling us what’s coming up, we can learn to place our trials in God’s hands and then trust Him to handle them well. In the meantime, we can train ourselves to look for the joy in every day. Even in the very worst days, there can be small bits of joy if we trust God enough to search for them.
Come what may and love it.
Read the entire talk on loving life.
The Great Plan of Happiness
Filed under: Finding joy within the gospel, Fruits of gospel living, Joy in our relationship with the Savior
Have you ever asked why? Of course you have. All of us ask why from time to time. We wonder why someone we love must suffer, why calamities effect so many, taking their living, their health, even at times, their lives.
I’ve heard many people say that if God truly loved us, He wouldn’t allow bad things to happen to us. Sometimes, in my darkest hours, I’ve thought the same thing.
But God does love us and He has proven it by giving us life and best of all, by granting us freedom—the freedom to choose for ourselves what we will do with our lives.
This time on earth, our mortality, is our opportunity to fulfill our creation, to learn about Heavenly Father’s plan and to choose whether or not we will be obedient. Obedience to God’s plan, is essential to our happiness and our eternal progression.
The Book of Mormon prophet, King Benjamin, explained that, “the Lord God hath sent his holy prophets among all the children of men, to declare these things to every kindred, nation, and tongue, that thereby whosoever should believe [in] Christ, … the same might receive remission of their sins, and rejoice with exceedingly great joy” (Mosiah 3:13.)
He also taught his people: “Consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness” (Mosiah 2:41.)
God wants us to be happy. He has provided a road map that not only makes our final destination one of “never-ending happiness” but provides a journey that can be full of joy and happiness. But to decipher that road map, we must first study the doctrines of happiness—real happiness.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons) teaches that critical to our knowledge of the plan of happiness is an understanding of the governing principle of agency. Mormons believe that God sent us to earth with the opportunity to choose for ourselves what we will believe, or whether or not to be obedient to God’s commands. In his talk “Answers to Life’s Questions,” M. Russell Ballard, a leader of the Mormon Church, wrote, “A person does not have to spend much time in the schoolroom of mortality to realize that Heavenly Father’s plan does not provide for blissful happiness at every step along our mortal journey. Life is filled with harsh realities that tug at the heart and tear away at the soul” (Ensign, May 1995, 22.)
Howard W. Hunter, then President of the Church, said:
“There is nothing sad or gloomy about a person who accepts the truths of the gospel and incorporates these principles in his daily living. God wants all of his children to be joyous and glad, and we can have this blessing if we are willing to keep his commandments and live by his word in all that we do” (in Conference Report, Sept./Oct. 1961, p. 108.)
When you come to understand our Heavenly Father’s plan, you will find many of life’s questions are answered in the gospel of Christ. The Apostle John said, “If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them” (John 13:17.)
I testify that God has provided us with all that we need to know about how to be happy in this life, despite the tragedies that abound. Search the scriptures and learn all you can about the great plan of happiness. I pray that as you come to understand these truths you will be compelled, as I was, to embrace them willingly. In doing so we will find an increase of happiness, a lasting happiness, and we will have peace. Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27.)
Such peace will breath contentment to our souls and we will find that we have chosen to be happy and we will be eternally blessed because of it.
The Pursuit of Happiness
Is there anything that you want more than to be happy? You might list several things that you feel you need to make your life complete, but probably the overarching desire, the thing you want most of all, is just to be happy.
This has been mans’ goal since the beginning of recorded history. Mans’ search for happiness is the root behind any great advancement in society—as hopes rose that around the next corner things would get easier, better, and we could finally be happy.
It’s not a surprise that we are so consumed with the desire to be happy. In the Book of Mormon the Lord said, “Men are, that they might have joy” (2 Ne. 2:25.) We were created to desire and search for happiness—and God means for us to find it.
Even the founding fathers of United States of America gave our pursuit of happiness prime billing in the Declaration of Independence:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
The problem with a pursuit that is so all-consuming is that we tend to believe we have found it, only to discover that our hopes are false. What is happiness? Where do we find it? How do we obtain it?
Most people would claim that money was an essential element in achieving happiness. You’re unhappy without it, surely you would be very happy with it. However, endless research fails to prove that to be true. In fact, research tends to indicate that money alone is seldom, if ever, our key to true happiness.
David O. McKay, then president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints or Mormon Church, once made reference to a statement by John D. Rockefeller—then one of the world’s richest men—who apparently had stomach trouble and had purportedly said, “I would rather be able to enjoy a good meal than have a million dollars.” Then with a wink of the eye, President McKay remarked, “Of course, he had a million dollars when he said that.”
It’s easy to make light of the need of money when you have more than enough. But when you see no end to your money troubles and you feel that you are constantly drowning in debt, you can’t imagine any happiness without money.
But beyond a sufficient amount for our needs, money has little to do with true happiness. W. Eugene Hansen, a leader in the Mormon Church wrote “Often it is the work and sacrifice one experiences in obtaining money for a worthwhile purpose that produces the most satisfaction” (“The Search for Happiness,” Ensign, Nov 1993, 81.) He goes on to share a story from his father’s personal history about his Grandmother’s experiences growing up in Brigham City, Utah, in the late 1800s.
“Their family was very poor, having emigrated from Denmark with little more than the clothes on their backs. She wanted so much to have a pair of shoes she could wear on special occasions. To accomplish this worthy desire took a full summer’s work of picking berries and tending children, since money was very scarce and labor was cheap. But the joy Grandmother felt as she obtained those shoes is indescribable, for not only was she able to wear them, but her mother did also. In fact, they had it arranged so Grandmother would wear the shoes to Sunday School in the morning, and then her mother would wear them to sacrament meeting in the evening.”
William George Jordan, American editor and essayist, wrote:
“Happiness does not always require success, prosperity or attainment. It is often the joy of hopeful struggle, consecration of purpose and energy to some good end. Real happiness ever has its root in unselfishness—its blossom in love of some kind” (The Crown of Individuality, 2d ed., New York: Fleming H. Revell Co., 1909, pp. 78–79.)
Don’t mistake the pursuit of riches as the pursuit of happiness. Money is a needful thing, but it is not the sum of all things. Find happiness in the journey, and you will be doubly blessed in the end.
Service Begins at Home
Filed under: Finding joy within the gospel, Fruits of gospel living
One of the best ways to forget about your own problems is to focus on the problems of others. When you serve other people, you soon feel the weight of your own burdens lifted and you realize, almost despite yourself, that you are happy.
But for many of us, it’s hard to know who or how to help. At least, that’s often how it is for me. I feel like I can be a good helper, but I need someone else to tell me what to do because left on my own I probably won’t see it. I think that’s either because I’m still too absorbed in my own problems to truly see the need of another, or it’s because the ability to serve is a talent. Perhaps, it is both.
Regardless, starting at home is a wonderful opportunity for all of us to practice the art of service. At home, we can feel at ease stepping outside of ourselves and looking at the load another is carrying to gauge how we might help. Service inside the home is not a cop-out. It’s a necessary part of happy home life.
Mother serves her husband and children by seeing that everyone is fed and has clean clothes to wear. Father works hard to provide a safe home for his family. When one of these family leaders begins to think more of themselves than of the other family members, chaos reigns and love and happiness flee.
D. Lee Tobler, a leader in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (or Mormons,) wrote, “One of the major stresses on families today is that the individual—the child or the parent—sees himself or herself, rather than the family, at the center of life. Focusing on ourselves, and not on the larger vision of bringing the family together, can lead to contention” (“Homegrown Happiness,” New Era, Feb 2004, 11.) The family can only thrive when its members watch out for each other.
Service, whether in or out of the home, is a matter of heart. We have to desire it, we have to want to see another person happy. In a world that values self-preservation so much, it’s often difficult for us to look outside of ourselves and put another first. But the more you serve, the more full your heart becomes—full of love for the person you have served.
This is a gift from God, a payment if you will, for putting another before yourself. The Book of Mormon reads, “when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God” (Mosiah 2:17.) Such love and devotion for another of God’s children brings Him joy and blesses your own life as well.
Elder Tobler wrote, “If the family is to be eternal, the family has to be first—the highest priority.” Mormons believe that not only is the family elemental for a happy life, it is essential for a joyful eternity. Let your family be the testing ground for your new commitment to serve and to love other people more than you love yourself. In so doing, be prepared for your heart to swell, not only with an increase in love, but with happiness overflowing.